‎NETFLIX 出品
‎（纽约市 1968年）
♪ Don't you ever feel sad ♪
‎拜托快点 Come on.
♪ Lean on me when times are bad ♪
‎王八蛋！ Asshole!
♪ When the day comes ♪
‎喂！ Hey!
♪ And you're down ♪
♪ In a river of trouble, baby And I've got to swim out ♪
♪ Hold on, I'm comin' ♪
♪ I'm on my way, your lover ♪
♪ If you get cold, I'll be your cover ♪
♪ Don't have to worry, 'cause I'm here ♪
‎不好意思 Sorry about that.
♪ Don't have to suffer, baby 'Cause I was here ♪
♪ Hold on, I'm comin' ♪
♪ Reach out to me ♪
♪ For your satisfaction ♪
♪ All you have to do is call my name ♪
♪ For quick reaction ♪
♪ Hey, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
尽情享用 Enjoy your stay.
‎（X级 动作片 有裸露画面）
♪ Don't you ever feel sad ♪
♪ Lean on me when the times are bad ♪
♪ And when the day comes and you're down ♪
♪ In a river of trouble, baby ♪
♪ And I've got to swim out ♪
♪ Hold on, I'm comin' ♪
♪ I'm comin' ♪
‎就来了！ Coming!
‎快呀 Come on. Coming, coming, coming,
‎来啦 coming.
‎喂？该死 天啊！ -Hello. Hello? Shoot. God!
‎喂？我的天！ Hello! Oh, Jesus Christ!
‎我在室内停车场紧张症发作 ‎你有什么建议吗？ Listen, what do you recommend for a catatonic fit in a parking garage?
‎我…去问你的医生 I… Ugh, ask your doctor.
‎他刚刚取消预约了 所以我才打给你 That's why I'm calling. He just canceled.
‎我可以去你那里吗？ Can I come over?
‎唐纳德 你应该一天半以后再来的 Donald, you're about a day and a half early.
‎-那你叫我怎么办？ ‎-我才进家门 -What am I supposed to do? -I just got in.
‎我还没有准备好 ‎为什么那个蠢货取消预约？ I'm not ready for you yet. Why did the prick cancel?
‎我不知道 他说他病得很厉害 I don't know. He said he was just too sick.
‎你为什么不跟他说 ‎你病得比他还厉害？ Why don't you tell him you're sicker than he is?
‎已经跟他说了 He already knows that.
‎好吧 唐纳德 过来吧 ‎顺便带点冰块 Okay, Donald, come on over, but bring a bag of ice.
‎别叫我做任何事 Please do not give me any responsibility.
‎我现在除了去你家之外 At this moment, I cannot cope with anything weightier
‎任何麻烦一点的事都做不了 than the directions to your apartment.
‎你如果想过来后喝到冰的马提尼 ‎就只能自己带冰块过来 If you want a cold martini when you get here, you'll cope with some ice.
‎-好吧 我带 ‎-要赶紧 -I'll cope with some ice. -And hurry up.
‎我得走了 I gotta go.
‎我刚是在跟老朋友叙旧 I was saying hello to an old friend.
‎怎么了？ What?
‎麻烦去第十大道和百老汇交叉路口 10th and Broadway, please.
‎来了！天啊 Coming! Jesus Christ.
‎-你是怎么进来的？ ‎-临街的门没关 -How did you get inside? -The street door was open.
‎-想喝点什么吗？ ‎-洗完澡再喝 -You want a drink? -Not until I've had my shower.
‎今天总得有一件事是顺的吧 I want something to work out today.
‎我要好好地放松享受一下 I'm gonna try to relax and enjoy something.
‎你是因为医生的事难受吗？ You in a blue funk because of the doctor?
‎当然不是 ‎我来这里之前已经抑郁很久了 Christ, no. I was depressed long before I got there.
‎让你看些东西 你会好受些 This should pick you up.
‎我今天去购物 买了很多好东西 瞧 I went shopping today, and I bought all sorts of goodies. Look.
‎-檀香皂 ‎-我已经感觉好些了 -Sandalwood soap. -I feel better already.
‎你的专用牙刷 Your...
‎因为我实在受不了你一直用我的 because I am sick to death of you using mine.
‎-你以为我喜欢用你的？ ‎-你嘴巴里可比我脏多了 -How do you think I feel? -You've had worse things in your mouth.
‎这个也是给你买的 它叫“控制” Oh, also for you, something called "Control."
‎注意看 上面没有写这是发胶 Notice nowhere is it called "hairspray."
‎就只写着“控制” Just simply "Control" and the words "for men"
‎还有 瓶身上写满了“男士专用” ‎写了有37遍 written about 37 times all over the goddamn can.
‎这是为了强调它是给男人用的 Yeah, it's called Butch Assurance.
‎就算厂商把它叫作“蛋蛋” ‎它也只是一瓶发胶 Well, it's still hairspray, no matter if they call it "balls."
‎我把它放在你的架子上了 It's all on your very own shelf,
‎我会给你的架子贴上 ‎“唐纳德周六夜间灌肠用具”标签 which is to be labeled Donald's Saturday Night Douche Kit.
‎对了 你要在这里过夜吗？ By the way, are you spending the night?
‎不 我会开车回家 Nope, I'm driving back.
‎在市里待太久的话 ‎我还是会觉得不舒服 I still get very itchy when I'm in this town too long.
‎那蠢货干嘛不给你打电话取消预约？ Why didn't the prick call you and cancel?
‎让你白白跑一趟 Suppose you'd driven all this way for nothing?
‎你为什么一直叫他蠢货？ Why do you keep calling him a prick?
‎有哪个精神分析师 Who ever heard of an analyst
‎会跟病人约在周六晚上谈两小时吗？ having a session with a patient for two hours on a Saturday evening?
‎因为他想周一休息 He simply prefers to take Mondays off.
‎周六工作到很晚就为了周一休息？ He works late on Saturday taking Monday off?
‎他是精神科医生还是理发师？ What is he, a psychiatrist or a hairdresser?
‎其实他两者都是 Actually, he's both.
‎他帮我梳理并排解掉我的情绪问题 He shrinks my head and then combs me out.
‎而且 反正我也要来城里 ‎参加生日会 不是吗？ Besides, I had to come in town for a birthday party anyway, right?
‎你非得提醒我 Oh, you had to remind me.
‎如果有什么是我还没准备好面对的 God, if there is one thing I'm not ready for,
‎那就是五个唱生日歌的尖叫皇后 it is five screaming queens singing "Happy Birthday."
‎-都有谁要来？ ‎-反正都是你认识的人 -Who's coming? -I think you know everybody anyway.
‎就还是那些疲惫的老仙女们 ‎你一开始就见过的 I mean, the same old tired fairies you've seen around since day one.
‎其实 Actually, you know what?
‎一共有七个人 算上哈罗德和你我 There will be seven, counting Harold and you and me.
‎你是说我是尖叫皇后还是疲惫仙女？ Are you calling me a screaming queen or a tired fairy?
‎抱歉 那我更正一下 Oh, I beg your pardon.
‎届时会有六位疲惫的尖叫仙女皇后 There will be six tired, screaming fairy queens
‎和一位焦虑的同性恋 and one anxious queer.
‎让我先用一下 马上就好 ‎我还要再用一下 I'll be out of your way in a second. I've only got one more thing to do.
‎整容吗？时间还早呢 Surgery? So early in the evening?
‎蠢婊子 Sunt.
‎我说的是法语 多了个变音符 -That's French with a cedilla.
‎我还要再梳一下我的头发 ‎第37次梳 I've got to comb my hair for the 37th time.
‎头发 我用的是单数 Hair, that's singular.
‎不夸张地说 ‎我的头发现在掉得满地都是 My hair, without exaggeration, is clearly falling on the floor.
‎你别神经兮兮了 你头发多着呢 You're totally paranoid. You've got plenty of hair.
‎不 你看到的只是 ‎本大师营造出来的假象 No, what you see before you is a masterpiece of deception.
‎我的发际线其实在这里 My hairline starts about here.
‎我只是向前梳成这样而已 All this is just tortured forward.
‎你看 Look.
‎情况不太好 是不是？ That's not good, huh?
‎不算太好 It's not the greatest.
‎人变老就是这样 - It's called getting old.
‎哎 这样看 打飞机也不是一无是处 Oh, well. One thing you can say for masturbation:
‎因为即使你变得不好看了 ‎也照样可以 you certainly don't have to look your best.
‎你现在是为了什么抑郁？ ‎除平时那些事以外还有别的原因吗？ So what are you so depressed about? I mean, other than the usual everything?
‎我不太想说 I really don't want to get into it.
‎唐纳德 如果你不告诉我 Well, Donald, if you're not going to tell me,
‎我们怎么进行有深度的对话？ then how can we have a conversation in depth?
‎怎么能有温暖有益的友谊？ A warm, rewarding, meaningful friendship.
‎去你的 Up yours.
‎今天我终于意识到 ‎是我父母把我养成了失败者 It's just that today I finally realized I was raised to be a failure.
‎是他们把我养成这样 I was groomed for it.
‎天啊 说自己变成基佬都怪爸爸妈妈 Oh, Christ. How sick analysts must get
‎这种话精神分析师都快听吐了吧 of hearing how Mommy and Daddy made their darlin' into a fairy.
‎可不止这些 It's beyond just that now.
‎我今天终于明白 Today I finally began to see
‎我的一些别的特点也和他们有关 how some of the other pieces of the puzzle relate to them.
‎比如我的失败强迫症 My neurotic compulsion to not succeed.
‎我现在明白 每当我失败的时候 ‎就是我妈伊芙琳最爱我的时候 I realize it was always when I failed that Evelyn loved me the most.
‎因为我失败就能惹得 ‎渴望完美的我爸沃尔特不高兴 Because it displeased Walt, who wanted perfection.
‎慢慢地为了得到爱 我开始故意失败 I began to fail on purpose to get love.
‎失败是唯一能给我归属感的东西 Failure is the only thing with which I feel at home
‎因为这是我爸妈教我的 because it's what I was taught at home.
‎不 No.
♪ You better chase all the blues away ♪
♪ Shout hallelujah, come on… ♪
‎有什么比基佬模仿朱迪加兰 ‎更无聊的吗？ What is more boring than a queen doing a Judy Garland imitation?
‎有 让基佬模仿贝蒂戴维斯 A queen doing a Bette Davis imitation.
‎你这件毛衣哪里买的？ Where'd you get that sweater?
‎一家位于巴黎右岸精致小店 ‎叫爱马仕 Oh, this clever little shop on the Right Bank called Hermès.
‎我累死累活擦地板 I work my ass off
‎一个星期才赚45美元 for 45 lousy dollars a week, scrubbing floors,
‎而你却悠闲自在 ‎把羊绒毛衣随便扔在地上 and you waltz around throwing cashmere sweaters on them.
‎扔在浴室地板上的那件是骆马毛的 The one on the floor in the john is vicuña.
‎好吧 我错了 Oh, I beg your pardon.
‎你可以换个工作 做点别的 You could get a job doing something else.
‎没人拿枪指着你 逼你做清洁女工 Nobody holds a gun to your head to be a charwoman.
‎这是你的神经症的一个表现 That is, how you say, your neurosis.
‎天啊 我还以为我天生就该当清洁工 Gee, and I thought it's why I was born.
‎还有 我穿昂贵的衣服 Besides, just because I wear expensive clothes,
‎并不代表它们是我花钱买的 doesn't mean they're paid for.
‎这也是你的神经症的一个表现 That is, how you say, your neurosis.
‎不过呢 多亏了电影行业 ‎让你的神经症都显得很有格调 However, thanks to the silver screen, your neurosis has got style.
‎能拿着失业金 ‎在乔艾伦餐厅挥霍也是一种才能 It takes a certain flair to squander one's unemployment check at Joe Allen.
‎债台高筑有什么时尚的？ What's so snappy about being head over heels in debt?
‎我在这事上唯一聪明的地方 The only thing smart about it
‎就是想出了各种好点子避开收账的人 is the ingenious ways I dodge the bill collectors.
‎对 仔细想想 Yep, come to think of it,
‎你就是那种把同性恋名声搞臭的人 you're the type that gives faggots a bad name.
‎而你 唐纳德 则是同性恋的榜样 Oh, and you, Donald, you are a credit to the homosexual.
‎你是一个可靠又肯干 ‎靠擦地板维生的准时还账单的同性恋 You're a reliable, hard-working, floor-scrubbing, bill-paying fag
‎你谁也不欠 who don't owe nothing to nobody.
‎我是一个模范基佬 -I am a model fairy.
‎你觉得我做的一切都很轻巧 You think it's just nifty
‎说飞就飞 从比弗利山飞到罗马 ‎从阿卡普尔科飞到阿姆斯特丹 how I've always flitted from Beverly Hills to Rome to Acapulco to Amsterdam,
‎还顺路睡了很多男人 picking up a lot of one-night stands,
‎还买了一大堆定制服装 a lot of custom-made duds along the trail?
‎但我告诉你 我去了这么多地方 I'm here to tell you the only place in all those miles,
‎唯一让我开心的地方 the only place that I've ever been happy
‎就是在那破飞机上 was on the goddamn plane.
‎我总是跑这跑那 Run, charge.
‎跑这跑那 购物 借钱 赚钱 花钱 Run, buy, borrow, make, spend.
‎跑这跑那 挥霍 求人 Run, squander, beg.
‎跑这跑那 荒废人生… Run, run, run. Waste, waste…
‎荒废人生 waste.
‎这都是为了什么？ And why?
‎说完了 鼓掌吧 Finis. Applause.
‎-嘿 ‎-不用 不用这样 -Hey. -Don't. You don't have to.
‎别伤心 Hey, come on.
‎没什么比自怜更棒的了 是不是？ Oh, there's nothing quite as good as feeling sorry for yourself, is there?
‎对 Nothing.
‎好了 Okay.
‎我喜欢廉价的伤感 I adore cheap sentiment.
‎这里是后台 《我是妙女郎》 Backstage, Funny Girl.
‎-喂 我是艾伦 ‎-艾伦？ -Hi, it's Alan. -Alan?
‎天啊 Oh, my God.
‎艾伦 我真不敢相信 ‎你好吗？你在哪里？ Alan, oh, I don't believe it. How are you? Where are you?
‎我在你们市…出差 I'm here… on business.
‎你今晚要干什么？ Listen, what are you doing tonight?
‎我今晚很忙 艾伦 今晚不合适 Oh, I'm tied up tonight. Alan, tonight's no good for me.
‎我也很忙 我原先想着 ‎或许可以去你家小喝一杯？ Oh, I'm tied up, too, but I thought I might just drop by for a drink.
‎你是说现在？ What, you mean now?
‎艾伦老朋友 听我说 Well, Alan, old boy, listen to me.
‎今天我一个朋友过生日 ‎我还邀请了几个人过来 It is a friend's birthday, and I am having a few people in.
‎我很抱歉没法邀请你 因为… -Oh. -And I'm sorry I can't ask you to join us. It's just…
‎因为不大方便 哥们儿 It just wouldn't work out, kiddo, you know?
‎而且我也不希望才和你见面十分钟 And I'd hate to just see you for ten minutes
‎-就得说再见 ‎-米奇 求你了 -and then have to say goodbye. - Mickey, please?
‎艾伦？ Alan?
‎-米奇 ‎-艾伦… -Mickey? -Alan…
‎怎么了？ What's wrong?
‎我有事必须马上和你见面谈 I've gotta see you about something right away.
‎那好 艾伦 你过来吧 Okay, Alan, come on over.
‎没事 不要紧 No, it's perfectly all right.
‎过来吧 我们小酌一杯 Just come on over, have a quick drink,
‎-但你要抓紧 ‎-还是原来的地址吗？ -but-but hurry up. -Same old address?
‎-对 ‎-行 -Yeah. -Okay.
‎哎呀… Well…
‎我的打扮迷人吗？ am I stunning?
‎太迷人了 You're absolutely stunning.
‎你看上去糟透了 但我被你迷住了 You look like shit, but I'm absolutely stunned.
‎你是吃不到葡萄就说葡萄酸 ‎我的酒在哪里？ Your grapes are, how you say, sour. Where's my drink?
‎我没调 我在乔治城时的旧室友 ‎刚刚打了电话过来 I didn't make it. My old roommate from Georgetown just called.
‎-叫艾伦什么来着？ ‎-艾伦麦卡锡 -Alan what's-his-name? -McCarthy.
‎他好像是从华盛顿过来出差 He's up here from Washington on business or something,
‎他正在过来的路上 and he's on his way here.
‎但愿他知道生日歌的歌词 I hope he knows the lyrics to "Happy Birthday."
‎听着 混蛋 我能怎么办？他是直男 Listen, asshole. What am I going to do? He's straight.
‎你觉得他晚上看到 ‎我们这帮怪人会怎么想？ What'll he feel about this freak show I've got booked for dinner?
‎天啊 真好喝 Ah, Christ, is that good.
‎他电话里听上去情绪很低落 He absolutely lost his spring on the phone.
‎都哭了 他平时可不这样 He started crying, and that's not his style at all.
‎艾伦是一个很坚强的人 Alan's so goddamned pulled together,
‎就算碰到飞机失事也波澜不惊 he wouldn't show any emotion if he were in a plane crash.
‎我该怎么办？ What am I going to do?
‎你是为有我们这样的朋友而羞耻吗？ Are you suddenly ashamed of your friends?
‎唐纳德 ‎你是唯一真正让我觉得羞耻的人 Donald, you are the only person I know of whom I am truly ashamed.
‎有些人的标准 ‎和你我的标准就是不同 明白吗？ Some people have different standards from yours and mine, you know?
‎如果我们不承认这点 And if we don't acknowledge them,
‎那我们觉得他们有多狭隘落后 ‎自己也就有多狭隘落后 then we're just as backward and narrow-minded as we think they are.
‎你知道吗 迈克尔？ ‎你真是个了不起的人 You know what you are, Michael? You're a real person.
‎谢谢 去你的 Thank you. Fuck you.
‎要吃点螃蟹吗？ Do you want some cracked crab?
‎不用 谢谢 No, thanks.
‎你怎么会和那么无聊的人成为朋友？ How could you ever have been friends with a bore like that?
‎说出来你可能不信 ‎我人生里有段时间 Well, believe it or not, there was a time in my life
‎不像现在这样 ‎逢人就告诉人家我是基佬 when I didn't go around announcing that I was a faggot.
‎那一定是在人类发明语言之前吧 That must have been before speech replaced sign language.
‎别阴阳怪气的 ‎我直到大学毕业才出柜 Don't give me any static on that score. I didn't come out until I left college.
‎我怎么记得我们第一次 Seems to me that the first time we tricked,
‎在第三大道的同志酒吧搞上时 ‎你还在上大三呢？ we met in a gay bar on Third Avenue during your junior year.
‎贱人 Cunt.
‎我还以为你不会这么骂人呢 Thought you'd never say it.
‎别等我了 Don't wait up.
‎嗨 美人 Hi, doll face.
‎-你看上去很可爱 ‎-我一向如此 -You look cute. -Always.
‎-哈喽 埃默里 ‎-嗨 -Hello, Emory. -Hi.
‎你知道吗？ ‎我讨厌像这样介入你们两个中间 You know I hate coming between the two of you like this.
‎只有你讨厌 That makes one of us.
‎那这样可就太刺激了 This is gonna be fun.
‎这可好 Oh, great.
‎不想老天爷下雨 它偏要下雨 Well, that's all we need, for it to rain.
‎-你想喝点苏打水吗？ ‎-什么？ -You want some more club soda? -What?
‎你一直在喝苏打水 There's nothing but club soda in that glass.
‎几个周六以来 我一直在观察你 I've been watching you for several Saturdays.
‎你真的把酒戒了 是吗？ You've actually stopped drinking, haven't you?
‎烟也戒了 And smoking, too.
‎-戒了多久了？ ‎-五个星期 -How long's it been? -Five weeks.
‎-真厉害 ‎-因为上帝显灵了 -That's amazing. -I found God.
‎-真厉害 连你也信上帝？ ‎-也可能是上帝死了 -It is amazing. For you? -Or is God dead?
‎当你嗑嗨的时候我总能看得出来 ‎凭借一种办法 I could always tell when you were getting high. One way.
‎就是我会变得很不友善 -I'd get hostile.
‎你怎么戒掉的？ ‎是精神分析师的功劳吗？ Hey, what made you stop? The analyst?
‎他肯定是有很大的功劳 Oh. He certainly had a lot to do with it.
‎但主要是因为我再也受不了隔天早上 ‎想吐的感觉了 再来一次我会挂掉 Mainly I didn't think I could get through another morning-after ick attack.
‎隔天早上什么？ Morning-after what?
‎想吐！焦虑、内疚 无法承受的内疚 Icks! Anxiety, guilt, unfathomable guilt.
‎宿醉后隔天睁眼时 我会问自己 From the second your eyes open and you say,
‎“天啊 我昨晚都干了什么？” "Oh, my God! What'd I do last night?"
‎我太懂了 Mmm, tell me about it.
‎然后一直到午饭之前都半死不活 And then that struggle to survive till lunch…
‎然后喝掉双份血腥玛丽 ‎忍到中午才喝已经算好的了 -Mmm. -…where you have a double Bloody Mary. That is, if you've waited till lunch.
‎然后整个下午半醉着 ‎什么事都做不了 And then you're half pissed again and useless for the rest of the afternoon.
‎等到了晚上 再来一杯鸡尾酒 So you hang on till cocktail time,
‎喝完后就准备好参加晚上的活动 and by then, you're ready for whatever the night holds,
‎很可能又是一个聚会 which hopefully is another party,
‎然后就这样一遍又一遍地循环 and that whole goddamn cycle starts all over again.
‎我在这种没有休止的旋转木马上 ‎已经转得够久了 Well, I have been on that merry-go-round long enough,
‎我要么下来 ‎要么就会因为离心力被转死 and I either had to get off or die of centrifugal force.
‎你的大学同学终于来了 Oh, Joe College has finally arrived.
‎唐纳德 听好 All right, Donald, listen to me.
‎不用教我怎么待人接物 ‎你这样是侮辱我 Don't insult me by giving me any lecture on acceptable social behavior.
‎我保证会像直男一样双腿张开坐着 ‎而且会把音调降下来说话 -I promise to sit with my legs spread apart and keep my voice in a deep register.
‎唐纳德 真该给你发一个贱人证 Donald, you are a real card-carrying cunt.
‎我们是来搜查的 All right. This is a raid.
‎你们都被捕了 Everybody's under arrest.
‎嗨 亲爱的 我带了砂锅菜 ‎行了 不要问 Hello, darling. Connie Casserole. Oh, Mary, don't ask.
‎嗨 埃默里 把这个放厨房吧 Hi, Emory. Come on, you can put it in the kitchen.
‎-嗨 汉克 拉里 ‎-这位有异域风情的美人是谁？ -Hi, Hank. Larry. - Who is this exotic woman?
‎亲爱的 我以为你消失了 My dear, I thought you had perished!
‎很久没看到你了 都躲哪里去了？ Where have you been hiding your classically chiseled features?
‎我没住城里了 I don't live in the city anymore.
‎这些让我拿吧 ‎埃默里 你的礼物在哪里？ I'll take those. Emory, where's your present?
‎稍后就到 It's arriving later.
‎拉里 Larry.
‎拉里！ Larry. Larry!
‎-怎么了？ ‎-把礼物给迈克尔 -What? -Give Michael the gift.
‎给 Oh, here.
‎你声音可以再大点 ‎这样我妈在费城都能听见你 Louder, so my mother in Philadelphia can hear you.
‎-你在那里站着发呆 ‎-我有吗？ -You were standing there in a trance. -Was I?
‎-你们两个应该都认识唐纳德吧？ ‎-当然 很高兴见到你 -You both know Donald, don't you? - Sure. Nice to see you.
‎-嗨 ‎-很高兴认识你 -Hi. -Nice to meet you.
‎不好意思 我还以为你们认识 Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you'd met.
‎其实我们不算认识 但我们… Well, we haven't exactly met, but we've…
‎-嗨 ‎-嗨 -Hi. -Hi.
‎但你们怎么了？ But you've what?
‎以前见过 Seen each other before.
‎听上去有隐情啊 Oh, that sounds murky.
‎你们没认识过 但见过 You've never met, but you've seen each other.
‎我这话有什么问题吗？ -What was wrong with the way I said it?
‎我觉得他们马上要第一次吵架了 -They're gonna have their first fight.
‎刚刚坐出租车时就吵过了 The first one since we got out of the taxi.
‎你在哪里碰到的这烂人？ - Where did you find this trash?
‎楼下 他靠着个路灯站着 -Downstairs, leaning against a lamppost.
‎我耳朵后还别着一朵兰花 With an orchid behind my ear
‎画着大红唇 and big, wet lips painted over the lip line.
‎-就像玛丽亚蒙特兹 ‎-别逗了 -Oh! Just like Maria Montez. -Oh, please.
‎你对玛丽亚有什么意见？她是个好人 Hey, what have you got against Maria? She was a good woman.
‎等等 大家听着 Hold on. Everybody, listen.
‎我有个大学朋友来找我 ‎他已经在来的路上了 This old college friend of mine is in town,
‎他在这里喝杯酒之后就会走 ‎去赶别的饭局 and he's stopping by for a fast drink on his way to dinner,
‎但他是直男 所以… but he's straight, so…
‎直男？如果是我上次见到的那位 ‎那他一定像弯曲的黄砖路那样弯 Straight? If he's the one I met, he's as straight as the yellow brick road.
‎不 你见到的那位是贾斯汀斯图尔特 No, you met Justin Stuart.
‎我不记得我见过 ‎叫贾斯汀斯图尔特的人 I don't remember meeting a Justin Stuart.
‎-你当然不记得 是我见过的 ‎-这次来的是另一个人 -Of course you don't, dope. I met him. -This is someone else.
‎他叫艾伦麦卡锡 ‎一个非常熟悉的陌生人 Yes, Alan McCarthy, a very close total stranger.
‎其实我不在乎他怎么看我 真的 It is not that I care what he would think of me. Really.
‎但他没有做好见识我真面目的准备 ‎而且永远不会 It's just he's not ready for it, you know, and he never will be.
‎-你懂的 对吧 汉克？ ‎-当然 -You understand that, don't you, Hank? -Sure.
‎你真的觉得他不知道你是基佬吗？ Do you really think he doesn't know about you?
‎就算他有一点点怀疑 也从没显露过 If there is the slightest suspicion, he's never let on.
‎他是做了脑叶切除手术吗？ -What's he had, a lobotomy?
‎我上大学的时候非常小心 Hey, I was super careful when I was in college,
‎毕业后每次和他见面依然很小心 and I still am whenever I see him.
‎-我也不知道为什么是这样 ‎-一团糟 -I don't know why, but I am. -Tilt.
‎我上大学时和艾伦一样 I was just like Alan when I was in college.
‎约会过数不清的女人 I was very large in the dating department.
‎只会穿很呆的常春藤校服 I wore nothing but those constipated Ivy League clothes,
‎和好几斤重的马皮鞋 and those, oh, ten-pound cordovan shoes.
‎-无意冒犯 ‎-没关系 -No offense. -Quite all right.
‎我经常会让自己显得爷们儿一些 ‎而且我不觉得是在自欺欺人 I butched it up quite a bit, and I didn't think I was lying to myself.
‎我真的以为自己是直男 I really thought I was straight.
‎我清楚地记得我直到毕业才出柜 I know damn well I did not come out until after I graduated.
‎那你大学时参加的周末活动算什么？ What about all those weekends up from school?
‎那还不算出柜 Oh. I still wasn't out.
‎我那时还一直用喝多了那套当借口 I was still in the Christ-was-I-drunk-last-night syndrome.
‎“天啊 我昨晚喝多了 ‎什么都不记得了” "Christ, I was so drunk last night, I don't remember a thing."
‎没错 That's it.
‎你有负罪感只是因为你是天主教徒 You were just guilty because you were Catholic.
‎-仅此而已 ‎-不是这样 -That's all. -That is not true.
‎喝醉了那套说辞和宗教信仰没有关系 The Christ-was-I-drunk-last-night syndrome knows no religion,
‎不过我承认有很高比例的 ‎摩门教徒喜欢用这套说辞 although there's a high percentage of it among Mormons.
‎我要是想喝杯酒的话 ‎我得跟谁上床？ Who do you have to fuck to get a drink around here?
‎你能闪一边去吗？ Will you light somewhere?
‎我们那时多少都会 ‎为自己的行为找合理的解释 We all somehow managed to justify our actions in those days.
‎后来我发现 ‎就连我最好的朋友贾斯汀斯图尔特… You know, I later found out even Justin Stuart, my closest friend--
‎除艾伦麦卡锡外最好的 Other than Alan McCarthy.
‎闭嘴 贾斯汀也和我一样 Zip it. He was doing the same thing.
‎只不过他是去波士顿过周末 Only Justin was going to Boston on weekends.
‎当你说你喝醉了什么也不记得的时候 You see, in the Christ-was-I-drunk-last-night syndrome,
‎你确实是喝醉了 这是实话 you really are drunk. That part of it is true.
‎但你对发生的事其实记得一清二楚 It's just you also do remember everything.
‎很多人做爱前都要让自己先喝多了 Well, a lot of guys have to get loaded to have sex.
‎反正我听说的是这样 So I've been told.
‎唐纳德 Donald…
‎你还记得吗？我们第一次做的时候 …if you remember, the first time we made it,
‎我醉得都站不起来了 I was so drunk I could hardly stand up.
‎你醉得都快硬不起来了 You were so drunk, you could hardly get it up.
‎-天啊 我喝醉了 不记得了 ‎-放屁 你记得清楚着呢 -Christ, I was so drunk, I don't remember. -Oh, bullshit. You remember.
‎天啊 艾伦来了 -Oh, Jesus. All right, that's Alan.
‎听着 行行好 ‎他在的时候你们收敛一点行吗？ Please, everyone do me a favor. Cool it for the few minutes he's here.
‎为了姐妹 我们什么忙都可以帮 Anything for a sis, Mary.
‎埃默里 不行！ Emory, no!
‎我说的就是你这种样子 I'm sorry, but that is exactly what I'm talking about.
‎-不要娘娘腔 ‎-抱歉 -No camping. -Sorry.
‎你觉得巨人队今年能拿联赛冠军吗？ Think the Giants are gonna win the pennant this year?
‎必须的啊 老兄 -Fuckin' A, Mac.
‎-嘿 伯纳德 ‎-嘿 亲爱的 -Oh, hey, Bernard. -Hey, baby.
‎这些我拿吧 大家都在阳台 ‎你可以把礼物和其他人的放一起 I'll take these. Everyone's outside. You can put your present with the others.
‎原来又来了一位皇后！ -Oh, it's only another queen!
‎-只不过不是红桃皇后 ‎-是黑桃皇后 -And it ain't the red one either. -It's the queen of spades!
‎有人跟你说过你睡在吊床上 ‎会显得很高级吗？ Anybody ever tell you you'd look divine in a hammock,
‎周围都是百叶窗 头顶挂着吊扇 ‎还有很多茂盛的热带蕨类植物 surrounded by louvers and ceiling fans and lots and lots of lush tropical ferns?
‎你这个浮夸的死基佬 ‎真是服了你了 起来！ You're such a fag. You take the cake. Up!
‎-蛋糕怎么样了？谁负责的蛋糕？ ‎-我 我订了一个 一会儿送来 -What about the cake? Whose job was that? -Mine. I ordered it to be delivered.
‎你让他们放了几根蜡烛？80根吗？ How many candles did you say to put on it? 80?
‎等等 艾伦 这里太吵了 ‎我用另外一部电话接 Wait, Alan. There's too much noise. I'll get another phone.
‎-迈克尔 蛋糕送来了吗？ ‎-没有 -Michael, did the cake come? -No.
‎-天啊 我可以用下你的电话吗？ ‎-用吧 -Oh, God. Can I use your private line? -Sure.
‎各位 外面放着螃蟹 你们自便 Listen, everybody, there is some cracked crab out there. Help yourselves.
‎能帮我接一下曼哈顿马赛蛋糕店吗？ Can I have the number for the Marseilles Bakery in Manhattan, please?
‎-大家都准备好了吗？过来喝一杯 ‎-好耶！ -Is everybody ready for a drink? -Yeah!
‎准备好了吗？ ‎我将担任你们的半裸服务生 Ready? I'll be your topless cocktail waitress.
‎麻烦别让我们看你下垂的奶子行吗？ Please, spare us the sight of your sagging tits.
‎你们要喝些什么？ What are you having, kids?
‎-有啤酒吗？ ‎-冰箱里有 -Is there any beer? -Oh, in the fridge.
‎-我去拿 ‎-啤酒？ -I'll get it. -Beer?
‎-有谁会在上主菜前喝啤酒？ ‎-喜欢啤酒的人 -Who drinks beer before dinner? -Beer drinkers.
‎你这样一个敏感的艺术家 ‎怎么会和他那个大老粗同居？ How can a sensitive artist like you live with an insensitive bull like that?
‎我也没法和他相处 -I can't.
‎算了 只能祈祷了 Well, here's hoping.
‎艾伦 别说傻话 没什么好道歉的 Alan, don't be silly. There's nothing to apologize for.
‎我觉得自己跟个傻子一样 It's just that I feel like such a fool.
‎放任自己那样 ‎我都恨不得一枪崩了自己 I can shoot myself for letting myself act that way.
‎你不来的话也没关系 我这里有客人 Look, it is just as well. I have people over.
‎我们聊天也不方便 It wouldn't be a good time to talk.
‎要不这样 ‎明天我们一起吃个午饭吧？ Hey, what about this? What if we do lunch tomorrow?
‎行 要不我们1点左右在橡树屋见？ Sure. Why don't you meet me at the Oak Room at about one o'clock?
‎好极了 That sounds perfect.
‎迈克尔 你能忘了今晚的事吗？ And listen, Michael, can you just forget about tonight?
‎就当什么都没发生 Pretend it never happened?
‎没问题 艾伦 我已经忘了 Alan, done. It's forgotten.
‎-那就明天见吧 ‎-好 -I'll see you tomorrow? -Great.
‎好了 宝贝！音乐响起来！ -Yeah, baby! Let's hear that sound! Whoo!
‎听到这鼓点 他们眼睛都发亮了 ‎比卡地亚珠宝还亮 A drumbeat and their eyes sparkle like Cartier.
‎真可怕 Terrible.
‎哇 谢谢 伯纳德 Wow, thanks, Bernard.
‎感觉够你看一个夏天了 It's like you stock up for the whole summer.
‎开玩笑吗？只够他看两天的 You kidding? That'll last him two days.
‎他不来了 -Well, he's not coming. -Oh!
‎有人喜欢吃 有人喜欢喝酒 ‎有人喜欢嗑药 Some people eat, some people drink, some take dope.
‎-我喜欢阅读 ‎-没错 不停阅读 -I read. -Yeah, and read, read, read.
‎你要是有书不看 It's a wonder your eyes don't turn back into your head
‎那还真是奇迹 -at the sight of a dust jacket.
‎至少他是以一种有益的方式逃避现实 -At least he's a constructive escapist.
‎没错 我是怎么逃避现实的呢？ ‎我坐飞机 Oh, that's true. What do I do? I take planes.
‎不过现在也不坐了 No. No, I don't do that anymore
‎因为没钱坐 because I don't have the money to do that anymore.
‎我现在只能去公共浴室 I go to the baths. That's about it.
‎我两者都要 我要坐飞机去西海岸 I'm about to do both. I'm flying to the West Coast.
‎你依然会去提华纳搞人兽交？ You still got that act with the donkey in Tijuana?
‎我是要去旧金山过一个应得的假期 I'm going to San Francisco on a well-earned vacation.
‎我要去公共浴室 I'm going to the Club Baths,
‎待上一周 ‎直到航空公司通知要启程了再出来 and I'm not leaving till they announce the departure of TWA one week later.
‎你永远都学不会远离公共浴室对吗？ You'll never learn to stay out of the baths, will you?
‎-伯纳德 不要…伯纳德！ ‎-上次埃埃姑娘在浴室钓男人呢 -Bernard, don't… Bernard! -The last time Emily took the vapors,
‎一个毛茸茸的壮汉警察进来了 this big hairy number strolled in.
‎埃默里说：“我只是在这里休息” So Emory says, "I'm just resting."
‎那个壮汉就说 ‎“我只是来这里抓人” Big hairy number said, "Oh, I'm just arresting."
‎-埃默里就是他要抓的人 ‎-埃默里！ -It was the vice. -Emory!
‎你不说出来难受是吗？ ‎谢谢 亲爱的 You have to tell everything, don't you? Thanks, honey.
‎你是和父母一起住吗？ You live with your parents?
‎对 不过没关系 他们都是同性恋 Yeah, but it's all right, they're gay.
‎觉得这事很好笑是吗 汉克？ Thought that was funny, Hank?
‎艾伦怎么不来了？ What happened to Alan?
‎他突然又受不了 ‎自己在电话里崩溃失态的样子 Oh, he suddenly got terrible icks about having broken down on the phone.
‎不停道歉 Kept apologizing over and over.
‎被我见到一个完全不一样的他之后 Did this big about-face,
‎他又在我眼前变回了之前的样子 reverted to the old Alan right before my very eyes.
‎-明明不是眼前 ‎-电话也算 -Ears. -Ears.
‎看来螃蟹这道菜很不受欢迎啊 Well, the cracked crab obviously did not work out.
‎我不懂为什么大家都讨厌这道菜 I don't know why everyone has such an aversion to it.
‎有时你真像在给我上水刑 Sometimes you remind me of the Chinese water torture.
‎不 我收回我的话重新说 No. No, I take that back.
‎有时你真像不停给我上水刑 Sometimes you remind me of the relentless Chinese water torture.
‎贱人 -Bitch. - Whoo! Whoo!
‎-怎么哈罗德还没来？ ‎-对啊 冰雪基佬怎么还没来？ - Wonder where Harold is. -Yeah, where is the frozen fruit?
‎埃默里管哈罗德叫冰雪基佬 Emory refers to Harold as the frozen fruit
‎因为哈罗德之前是滑冰运动员 because of his former profession as an ice skater. Whoo!
‎他今天显得很狂放 You know he's out here looking rough.
‎要是你妈看到你现在这个样子 ‎准会中风 If your mother could see you now, she'd have a stroke.
‎你带相机了吗？ - Got a camera on you?
‎天啊 是警察 ‎大家互相保持一米远的距离 Oh, my God, it's Lily Law. Everybody, three feet apart.
‎这个时候也可能是哈罗德 It's probably Harold now.
‎不 是蛋糕店送蛋糕的 No, it's the delivery boy from the bakery.
‎-谢天谢地 ‎-问他有没有菊花面包！ -Oh, thank God. -Ask him if he's got any hot cross buns!
‎埃默里 你消停会儿行吗？ Come on, Emory. Knock it off.
‎你把他弄去哪里都行 ‎就是别让他去外面 You can take her anywhere but out.
‎你让我想到老处女教师 You remind me of an old maid school teacher.
‎你让我想到鸡翅 You remind me of a chicken wing.
‎想必你是在赞美我 -I'm sure you meant that as a compliment.
‎晚上好 -Good evening.
‎喂 伯纳德 你还记得 ‎我们在火岛上跳的那支舞吗？ Hey, Bernard, remember that thing we used to do on Fire Island?
‎太久远了 我想不起来了 Whoo! That was in so far back, I think I've forgotten.
‎我记得 I remember.
‎-宝贝 来 跟着我跳 ‎-怎么跳？ -Baby, come on, follow. -What is it?
‎-扭臀 扭臀 摆臂 摆臂 ‎-嗯 -It goes swing, swing. Hook, hook. -Yeah. Yeah. Yeah!
‎挤牛奶… Milk the cow, milk the cow, milk the cow…
‎你得扭臀 你得摇摆 You gotta swing it. You gotta hit it.
‎-这是老年版火箭女郎！ ‎-来吧 Look, it's the Geriatric Rockettes! Here we go.
♪ Whenever I'm with him ♪
♪ Something inside starts to burning ♪
♪ And I'm filled with desire ♪
♪ Could it be a devil in me? ♪
♪ Or is this the way Love's supposed to be? ♪
♪ It's like a heat wave Burning in my heart ♪
♪ I can't keep from crying… ♪
‎-来啊 唐纳德 ‎-不了 天啊 -Come on, Donald. Donald. -No, God.
♪ Whenever he calls my name ♪
♪ Soft, low, sweet and plain ♪
♪ Right then, right there I feel that burning flame ♪
♪ Has high blood pressure Got a hold on me ♪
♪ Or is this the way Love's supposed to be? ♪
♪ It's like a heat wave Burning in my heart ♪
♪ I can't keep from crying It's tearing me apart ♪
♪ Ooh, heat wave ♪
‎-天啊 汉克！ ‎-你怎么… -God damn it, Hank! -Why would you--
‎我以为…我…你不是说不过来吗？ I thought… I'm… You said that you weren't coming.
‎抱歉 Well, I'm sorry.
‎我们只是在这里瞎玩 Well, we were just acting silly.
‎我之前打电话时 ‎其实就在楼下街角的电话亭里 When I called, I was at a phone booth around the corner.
‎我晚上聚餐的地方离这里不远 My dinner party isn't far from here.
‎埃默里刚刚教我们跳一支很傻气的舞 Emory was showing us this silly dance.
‎我从楼下走过的时候 ‎看到外面的门没关 I walked past, and your downstairs door was open.
‎这位是埃默里 This is Emory.
‎各位 这位是艾伦麦卡锡 Everybody, this is Alan McCarthy.
‎艾伦 从逆时针方向介绍 这是拉里 ‎伯纳德、唐纳德、埃默里和汉克 Alan, counterclockwise, we have Larry, Bernard, Donald, Emory and Hank.
‎-很高兴认识你 ‎-嗨 -Nice to meet you. -Hi.
‎-你想喝点什么吗？ ‎-谢谢 不用 我马上就走 -Would you like a drink? -Thanks, no. I-I can't stay long.
‎人都来了 就待一下 想喝什么？ You're here now, so stay. What would you like?
‎-威士忌 谢谢 ‎-威士忌 -Scotch, please. -Scotch.
‎-我去拿 ‎-谢谢 -I'll get it. - Thank you.
‎看来这里只有我一个人喜欢喝啤酒 -Guess I'm the only beer drinker.
‎-今天是谁的生日？ ‎-哈罗德 Whose, uh, birthday is it? -Harold's. - Harold?
‎-哈罗德？ ‎-他还没来 - He's not here yet.
‎她过生日从来就没… -She's never been on time in her li--
‎他…过生日从来就没准时到过 He's… never been on time in his life.
‎汉克 艾伦是从华盛顿来的 ‎我们是大学同学 乔治城大学 Hank, Alan is from Washington. We went to college together, Georgetown.
‎对 -Ah. -Yeah.
‎那一定很棒吧？ Well, isn't that fascinating?
‎如果你觉得太烈了 我再给你加点水 If that's too strong, I'll put some water in it for you.
‎不用了 很好 谢谢 It's fine, thanks. Fine.
‎-你是在政府工作吗 艾伦？ ‎-不是 我是律师 -You in the government, Alan? -No, I'm a lawyer.
‎-你是做什么的？ ‎-我是学校老师 -What do you do? -I teach school.
‎我还以为你是运动员呢 Oh. Would have taken you for an athlete of some sort.
‎看上去像是经常运动的样子 You look like you might play sports.
‎我不是专业运动员 ‎但我在大学的时候是篮球队的 Well, I'm no professional, but I was on the basketball team in college.
‎-我也打网球 ‎-我也打网球 -Played quite a bit of tennis. -I play tennis, too.
‎-网球很不错 是的 ‎-是的 很不错 -Great game. It is, yeah. - Yeah, great.
‎-你是教什么的？ ‎-数学 -What do you teach? -Math.
‎-数学？ ‎-对 -Math? -Yeah.
‎数学 Math.
‎听得让人想马上去买一把滑尺呢 Kind of makes you want to rush out and buy a slide rule, doesn't it?
‎埃默里 去厨房给我当帮手 Emory, I need help in the kitchen.
‎-你被挑中了 来 ‎-我总是被挑中的那个人 -You're elected. Come on. -I'm always elected.
‎-你就是个佣人命 ‎-一个黑人皇后居然有脸说这种话！ -You're a natural-born domestic. -Said the African queen!
‎你也来帮手 ‎我做沙拉汁的时候 你给我扇扇子 You come, too. Fan me while I make the salad dressing.
‎来 这边 埃默里 - This way, Emory.
‎咱们坐下吧？ Why don't we all sit down?
‎-好 ‎-嗯 -Sure. -Yeah.
‎很抱歉我就这样闯进来 ‎打扰到了你们 I feel terrible barging in on you fellas this way.
‎没关系 Ah, that's okay.
‎-你还好吗？ ‎-还好 谢谢 你呢？ - How've you been? -Fine, thanks. And you?
‎你结婚了？ You married?
‎-什么？ ‎-我看你戴了婚戒 -What? -I see you're married.
‎对 汉克结婚了 ‎唐纳德 拿点冰块过来 Yes, Hank is married. Donald, cope with some ice.
‎你有孩子吗？ -Do you have any kids?
‎有 两个 ‎一个儿子 九岁 一个女儿 七岁 -Yes, two. A boy, nine. A girl, seven.
‎你真应该看看我儿子打网球的样子 ‎让我都自愧不如 You should see my boy play tennis. Really puts his dad to shame.
‎-我也有两个孩子 都是女儿 ‎-那很好啊 -I have two kids, too. Both girls. - Great.
‎-孩子们现在怎么样 艾伦？ ‎-她们特别棒 -How are the girls, Alan? -Oh, just sensational.
‎-是吗？ ‎-她们真的很好 -Yeah? -They're something, those kids.
‎我太爱她们了 God, I'm-I'm nuts about them.
‎-你结婚多久了？ ‎-九年 -How long you been married? - Nine years.
‎-是不是难以置信 米奇？ ‎-是啊 -Can you believe it, Mickey? -No.
‎我们在学校念书的时候 ‎米奇还和我妻子约会过 Mickey used to go with my wife when we were all in school.
‎是不是难以置信？ -Can you believe that?
‎哦 天啊 抱歉 Oh, Lord. Sorry.
‎你是住在城里的吗？ You live in the city?
‎是 我们住在城里 Yes, we do.
‎我正在办理离婚 I'm in the process of getting a divorce.
‎-我和拉里现在是室友 ‎-对 他们是室友 -Larry and I are roommates at the moment. -Yes, they're roommates.
‎我很抱歉 我不是有意… Oh, I'm very sorry. I mean--
‎没关系 我明白的 -No, I understand. - Mmm.
‎-我还想再来一杯 ‎-当然可以 不好意思 -I think I'd like another. -Of course. I'm so sorry.
‎需要我帮忙吗 艾伦？ Can I help you, Alan?
‎我找不到苏格兰威士忌 Can't seem to find the scotch.
‎你手上拿着呢 It's in your hand.
‎哦 对 我真傻 Of course. How stupid of me.
‎-我来帮你倒酒吧？ ‎-谢谢 -Why don't you let me do that for you? -Thank you.
‎-哈罗德到底死哪里去了？ ‎-他总是迟到 -Where the hell could Harold be? -Oh, he's always late.
‎你们不是不知道 ‎他对出门见人这种事有多紧张 You know how neurotic he can be about going out in public.
‎要花好几个小时做准备 Takes him hours to get ready.
‎-为什么要这样？ ‎-为什么要怎样？ -Why is that? -Why is what?
‎为什么他出个门要准备好几个小时？ Why does it take Harold hours to get ready before he can go out?
‎因为他是个生病的老女人 Because she's a sick lady. That's why.
‎艾伦 我们去楼上聊吧 Alan, why don't we go upstairs and talk?
‎我喝完这杯就走 I'm just gonna finish this and go.
‎没事 拿着酒上楼吧 Come on. You can bring your drink.
‎-我已经喝完了 ‎-来 -I-I finished it. - Here.
‎-失陪一下 我们很快就下来 ‎-他不会走的 -Excuse me. We'll be down in a minute. -Oh, he'll still be here.
‎-来 这边 艾伦 ‎-好 -Come on. This way, Alan. -Sure.
‎你是什么意思？ What was that supposed to mean?
‎-什么什么意思？ ‎-你知道的 -What was what supposed to mean? -You know.
‎-要再喝一杯啤酒吗？ ‎-不 -Do you want another beer? -No.
‎你吃醋了是吗？ You're jealous, aren't you?
‎我是拉里 -I'm Larry.
‎你才是喜欢吃醋的人 You're jealous.
‎唐纳德 你这些日子一直在哪里玩？ So, Donald, where have you been hanging out these days?
‎我很久没见到你了 I haven't seen you in a long time.
‎艾伦… - Alan…
‎我想解释一下今晚的事 I want to try to explain something about this evening.
‎有什么好解释的？有时我们就是… What's to explain? Sometimes you just…
‎没法把所有人都邀请来参加每场聚会 can't invite everybody to every party, and…
‎有些没被邀请的人可能会往心里去 ‎但我不会 Some people take it personally, but not me.
‎我倒是应该为我的不请自来道歉 I should apologize for inviting myself.
‎我不是那个意思 That is not exactly what I meant.
‎你的朋友们都很友善 Your friends seem like awfully nice guys.
‎那个汉克是个很有魅力的家伙 That Hank is a very attractive fellow.
‎对 是的 Yes, he is.
‎-他室友叫什么？ ‎-拉里 -What's his roommate's name? -Uh, Larry.
‎他是做什么的？ What does he do?
‎他是广告设计师 He's a commercial artist.
‎我也喜欢唐纳德 I liked Donald, too.
‎我唯一不太喜欢的是… The only one I didn't care for too much was…
‎那个人叫什么？埃默里？ What's his name? Emory?
‎对 是叫埃默里 Yes, Emory.
‎我受不了那种说话方式 让我恶心 Just can't stand that kind of talk. It grates on me.
‎哪种说话方式 艾伦？ What kind of talk, Alan?
‎他的那种…幽默方式吧 Oh, you know, his… brand of humor, I guess.
‎他有时真的很搞笑 He can be really quite funny sometimes.
‎或许吧 如果你觉得 ‎他那样算有趣的话 但是… I suppose, if you find that sort of thing amusing. He just…
‎他看上去就像个该死的娘娘腔 seems like such a goddamn little pansy.
‎很抱歉我说这种话 我不是那个意思 I'm sorry I said that. I didn't mean to say that. That's…
‎我不应该那样说任何人 such an awful thing to say about anyone.
‎但你知道我的意思 迈克尔 But you know what I mean, Michael.
‎你得承认他确实是很女性化 You have to admit he is effeminate.
‎-是有点 ‎-才有点？ -He is a bit. -A bit?
‎他就像一只发情的蝴蝶 He's like a butterfly in heat.
‎难怪他在教你们跳舞 There's no wonder he was teaching you all to dance.
‎他可能是想和你们一起跳舞 He probably wanted to dance with you.
‎别这样 哥们儿 你了解我 Oh, come on, man. You know me.
‎你知道我是怎么想的 ‎你的私生活是你自己的事 You know how I feel. Your private life is your own affair.
‎不 这点我并不了解你 艾伦 No, I don't know that about you, Alan.
‎我… I-I…
‎我不在乎别人做什么 ‎别在公共场合那样做就行 don't care what people do as long as they don't do it in public
‎或者强迫全世界都变得和他们一样 or try to force their ways on the whole world.
‎之前你为什么在电话里哭？ What were you crying about on the telephone?
‎我只能说 请原谅我之前… All I-- All I can say is please forgive me for making…
‎那样失态 such an ass of myself.
‎你之前一定很难过 ‎不然你不会说你难过 You must have been upset or you wouldn't have said you were
‎还说想见我 一定要见我 and that you wanted to see me, you had to see me.
‎-迈克尔 别说了 ‎-你和弗兰之间出问题了？ -Michael, please. -Is something wrong between you and Fran?
‎我得走了 Listen, I've really gotta go.
‎你为什么来纽约？ Why are you in New York?
‎-我已经迟到了很久了 ‎-跟谁的聚餐？你要去哪？ -Late for this dinner. -Whose dinner? Where are you going?
‎-那是洗手间吗？ ‎-是 -Is that the loo? -Yes.
‎抱歉 我用一下 Excuse me.
‎这里是什么情况？行了 别问 What's going on in here? Oh, Mary, don't ask.
‎汉克 你想过来一起吗？ Hank, why don't you come and join us?
‎真是个有趣的建议呢 是谁的主意？ That's an interesting suggestion. Whose idea is that?
‎我的主意 -Mine.
‎他是说大家一起聊天 He means in conversation.
‎其余酒杯在哪里？ -Where are the rest of the wine glasses?
‎我在卖命准备呢 -I's working as fast as I can.
‎-为你的健康干杯 ‎-去你的 - To your health. - Up yours.
‎去我的健康？ Up my health?
‎-那位绅士去哪里了？ ‎-在厕所 -Where's the gent? -He's in the gent's room.
‎你们再多坚持五分钟吧 If you can all hang on for five more minutes,
‎他就要走了 he's about to leave.
‎终于要走了 -Well, at last.
‎祝你生日快乐 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
‎祝你生日快乐 亲爱的哈罗德 ‎祝你生日快乐 ♪ Happy birthday, dear Harold Happy birthday to you ♪
‎你他妈是谁？ Who the hell are you?
‎她是我送给哈罗德的礼物 她来早了 She's Harold's present from me and she's early,
‎而且他不是哈罗德 你个蠢货！ and that's not even Harold, you idiot!
‎是你说开门的那个就是 You said whoever answered the door.
‎但我说的是午夜的时候 ‎他本应该作为午夜牛郎出现的 But not until midnight. He's supposed to be a midnight cowboy.
‎他就像是刚从三流的《俄克拉荷马》 ‎合唱团里过来的人 He looks right out of the chorus of a bus-and-truck Oklahoma!
‎你应该午夜的时候过来 ‎而且应该对着寿星唱歌 Not until midnight, and you're supposed to sing to the right person.
‎我跟你说了 ‎哈罗德有很密很卷的黑发 I told you Harold has very tight, tight, black curly hair.
‎这个人都快秃头了 This number's practically bald.
‎多谢啊 去死吧！ Thank you, and fuck you!
‎幸好不是我开门 Good thing I didn't open the door.
‎哈罗德的头发没他那么又密又卷啦 -Not that tight and not that black.
‎是我忘了 I-I forgot.
‎而且我还想午夜的时候去酒吧呢 Besides, I wanted to get to the bars by midnight.
‎他可真不错啊 各方面都是 Oh, he's a class act all the way around.
‎去酒吧是什么意思？ What do you mean, "get to the bars"?
‎亲爱的 我花钱买了你整晚 ‎想起来了吗？ Sweetie, I paid you for the whole night, remember?
‎我健身的时候把背伤到了 ‎所以我想晚上早点上床睡觉 I hurt my back doing my exercises, and I wanted to get to bed early.
‎那还真惨 怎么搞的？ Well, that's too bad. What happened?
‎我做引体向上的时候手没抓牢 -I lost my grip doing my chin-ups,
‎掉了下来 还把背给扭了 and I fell on my heels and twisted my back.
‎你做引体向上的时候 ‎不该穿高跟鞋的！ You shouldn't wear heels when you do chin-ups!
‎我不该做引体向上的 我手上没劲 I shouldn't do chin-ups. I got a weak grip.
‎手上没劲？ ‎我们以前管这叫“纤纤玉手” Aw, weak grip. In my day, it used to be called a limp wrist.
‎谁还记得那么久之前的用词？ Who can remember that far back?
‎-你的牌子上写的什么？ ‎-给 你自己看 -What's your card say? -Here. Read it.
‎“亲爱的哈罗德 砰 你还活着啊 "Dear Harold, bang-bang. You're alive."
‎现在翻个身装死吧 "Now roll over and play dead."
‎生日快乐 埃默里敬上” -"Happy Birthday, Emory."
‎真是一首好诗啊 埃埃 Sheer poetry, Emmy.
‎延续了你一贯的好品味 And in your usual good taste.
‎而且他还特别保守 ‎不肯在时代广场上打广告来宣传 So conservative of you to resist a sign in Times Square.
‎安静 上流社会的修女来了 -Cheese it, here comes the socialite nun.
‎埃默里 给我闭嘴 -Shit. God damn it, Emory.
‎我要走了 谢谢你的招待 迈克尔 Well, I'm off. Thanks, Michael, for the drink.
‎别客气 那我们明天见？ Oh, you're entirely welcome. So I'll see you tomorrow?
‎不用了 我想我明天会很忙 ‎可能还会回华盛顿 No. No, I think I'm gonna be awfully busy. Might even go back to Washington.
‎在拉法叶广场有重要约会吗？ -Got a heavy date in Lafayette Square?
‎-什么？ ‎-埃默里 -What? - Emory.
‎当我没说 Forget it.
‎你是哈罗德吗？ Are you Harold?
‎不 他不是哈罗德 ‎他是给哈罗德的礼物 No, he's not Harold. He's for Harold.
‎-再见 汉克 很高兴认识你 ‎-我也是 艾伦 -Goodbye, Hank. It was nice to meet you. -Same here, Alan.
‎等你来华盛顿 ‎我介绍我妻子给你认识 If you're in Washington, I'd like you to meet my wife.
‎那肯定很有意思对吧 汉克？ That'd be fun. Wouldn't it, Hank?
‎对 他们肯定很想见到他… Yeah, I'm sure they'd love to meet him…
‎啊 不对 是“她” Her.
‎我总是用错人称代词 I have such a problem with pronouns.
‎“人称代词”里有几个“屁”字？ How many S's are in the word pronoun?
‎要不要来舔老娘的屁股？ ‎这样还能再多一个“屁” How'd you like to kiss my ass? That's got two more S's in it.
‎那你要不要给我口啊？ -How'd you like to blow me? -Mmm.
‎怎么？你老婆张不开嘴吗？ What's wrong with your wife? She got lockjaw?
‎你个死同性恋！ Faggot! Fairy!
‎-埃默里！ ‎-你个怪胎 -Emory! - You goddamn freak.
‎去你妈的！ ‎我要杀了你 你个王八蛋！ Motherfucker! I'll kill you, you son of a bitch!
‎死同性恋！同性恋！ Fucking faggot! Faggot!
‎-快去拿冰块！ ‎-怪胎！ -Get some ice! - Freak!
‎你他妈是哪根神经搭错了？ What the hell is wrong with you, huh?
‎别激动 Just relax.
‎你的嘴唇出血了 亲爱的 拉里？ He just busted your lip, love. Larry?
‎给 -Here.
‎-天啊 ‎-该死 - Jesus. - Damn it.
‎你可以去那边和其它礼物待一起吗？ Do you mind waiting over there with the gifts?
‎哈罗德！生日快乐 Well, Harold! Happy birthday.
‎你正好赶上一场 You're just in time for the floor show,
‎地板混战 which you can see is on the floor.
‎喂 他才是哈罗德 Hey, you, this is Harold.
‎祝你生日快乐 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
‎祝你生日快乐 ‎祝你生日快乐 亲爱的哈罗德 ♪ Happy birthday to you Happy birthday, dear Harold ♪
‎祝你生日快乐 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
‎什么事这么好笑？ What's so fucking funny?
‎生活 Life.
‎生活真他妈好笑 你还记得生活吗？ Life is a goddamned laugh riot. You remember life?
‎-你飞大了 ‎-生日快乐 哈罗德 -You're stoned. -Happy birthday, Harold.
‎你飞大了 而且还迟到了 You're stoned, and you're late.
‎你应该在8点半到9点之间 You were supposed to arrive at this location
‎到这里的 at approximately 8:30 dash 9:00.
‎迈克尔 我是谁？ What I am, Michael,
‎我是个丑陋的、满脸麻子的 ‎已经32岁的犹太同性恋 is a 32-year-old, ugly, pock-marked, Jew fairy,
‎如果我需要多花点时间 ‎让自己振作起来 and if it takes me a while to pull myself together,
‎如果我需要飞点叶子才能有勇气 and if I smoke a little grass before I can get up the nerve
‎面对这个世界 to show this face to the world,
‎那这就是我自己的事 ‎跟谁都他妈没关系 then it's nobody's goddamn business but my own.
‎你今天晚上过得怎么样啊？ And how are you this evening?
‎生日快乐 哈里 Happy birthday, Hallie.
‎-你这是怎么了？ ‎-别问 - What happened to you? -Don't ask.
‎你的嘴唇都青了 Your lips are turning blue.
‎看着就像是舔过雪人一样 You look like you've been rimming a snowman.
‎都是那个假斯文的贱人 ‎把我打成这样的 That piss-elegant kooze hit me.
‎注意点 埃默里 ‎这种话又要让他紧张失控了 Careful, Emory. That kind of talk just makes him so nervous.
‎这个姐姐是谁？ Who is she?
‎她以前是谁？ Who was she?
‎她希望变成谁？ Who does she hope to be?
‎谁知道呢？谁关心啊？ Who knows? Who cares?
‎他叫艾伦麦卡锡 His name is Alan McCarthy.
‎不会是那个有名的大学室友吧？ ‎迈克尔 这是你给我的生日惊喜吗？ Not the famous college chum? Is this my surprise from you, Michael?
‎我觉得艾伦才是收到“惊喜”的人 I think Alan is the one who got the surprise.
‎-瞧他一句话都说不出来了 ‎-她还懵着呢！这个畜生！ - You'll notice he's speechless. -I hope she's in shock! She's a beast!
‎今天也是他的生日吗？ Is it his birthday, too?
‎-那个人才是给你的惊喜 ‎-说到“畜生”嘛… - That's your surprise. -Speaking of beasts.
‎这是我送给你的 亲爱的 喜欢吗？ From me to you, darling. How do you like it?
‎脸和身材都不错 Well, I suppose he has an interesting face and body,
‎但他没法畅谈艺术 ‎想到这我就没性致了 but it turns me right off 'cause he can't talk intelligently about art.
‎对啊 真是可惜 Yeah, ain't it a shame?
‎-我可不会爱上这种人 ‎-当然 谁会呢？ -I could never love anyone like that. -Never. Who could?
‎我会 你也会 I could and you could, that's who could.
‎姐们 她可真迷人 Mary, she's gorgeous.
‎她可能蠢了点 但她是你的 She may be dumb, but she's all yours.
‎收到这样的美人我很高兴 I think my present is a super surprise. I'm so thrilled to get it.
‎高兴得想亲你 ‎但我不想弄得满嘴都是你的血 I would kiss you, but I don't want to get blood all over me.
‎天啊 看我的衣服！ Look at my top!
‎还是先看看你的脸吧 Wait till you see your face.
‎来吧 埃默里 我帮你清洗一下 ‎生日快乐 哈罗德 Come on, Emory. Let's clean you up, hmm? Happy birthday, Harold.
‎谢谢 亲爱的 -Thanks, love.
‎-这件衣服穿不了了 ‎-去卧室拿件我的换上吧 - Top is ruined. Take one of mine from the bedroom.
‎地上那件是骆马毛的哦 The one on the floor is vicuña.
‎又是个和往年一样的生日会 ‎还是和你们这帮人一起 Just another birthday party with the folks.
‎这瓶勃艮第的普依富塞白葡萄酒 ‎是我专门为你买的 Here's a cold bottle of Pouilly-Fuissé I bought especially for you, kiddo.
‎你最好了 原谅你了 ‎你可以留下来了 Pussycat, all is forgiven. You can stay.
‎不对 你可以留下 ‎不过有些事还不能原谅你 干杯 No. You can stay, but not all is forgiven. Cheers.
‎谁叫那位白马王子 ‎来参加我的生日会的？ Who asked Mr. Right to celebrate my birthday?
‎凡事没有意外 There are no accidents.
‎又是谁叫他来的？ And who asked him?
‎是我 Guilty.
‎你每次都得找帮手 对吗？ Always got to have your crutch, haven't you?
‎我不会走的 I'm not leaving.
‎我好恶心 我要吐了 I feel sick. I think I'm gonna throw up.
‎你再说一遍 ‎我就不用吃抑制食欲的药了 Say that again, and I won't have to take my appetite suppressants.
‎慢慢来 一步步走 -Easy does it. One step at a time.
‎我还没准备好拍我的特写 ‎德米尔先生 I am not ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille.
‎接下来两周都不行 Nor will I be for the next two weeks.
‎天啊！他又来了！ Oh, my God! He's after me again!
‎-他觉得恶心 ‎-是 脑子恶心 -He's sick. -Yeah, sick in the head.
‎姐们 请带我回家 ‎这些皇后太疯狂了 Mary, take me home. These queens are crazy.
‎我要来点乐子 Turning on.
‎-有人要一起来点吗？ ‎-多谢 不用了 -Anybody care to join me? -Many thanks. No.
‎不了 谢谢 No, thank you.
‎你呢 特克斯？ How about you, Tex?
‎好啊 Yeah.
‎迈克尔 我把砂锅菜放烤箱里了 ‎你想什么时候拿出来都行 Michael, I left the casserole in the oven. Take it out anytime.
‎不准走 You're not going.
‎-反正我现在也吃不下 ‎-我都要饿死了 - I couldn't eat now anyway. -Well, I'm absolutely starving.
‎我要一直吃 吃到得肥胖症为止 I'll eat until I have a fat attack.
‎我说了你不许走 I said you're not going.
‎当心有敌意的基佬哦 Beware the hostile fag.
‎他清醒的时候是危险的 ‎喝酒之后则是致命的 When he's sober, he's dangerous. When he drinks, he's lethal.
‎-不许听他说的这些 ‎-我饿死了 埃埃 -Attention must not be paid. - Well, I'm starved, Em.
‎真想吃一点你做的 ‎爱丽丝托克勒斯式鸦片千层面 I'm ready for some of your Alice B. Toklas' opium-baked lasagna.
‎真的吗？ Are you really? Aw.
‎你这么说我可真高兴 ‎那我走之前为你服务一次吧 That makes me so pleased. Maybe I'll serve it before I leave.
‎谁都不许走 Nobody is going anywhere.
‎你说这种话明天可是要走霉运的 You're gonna have schmertz tomorrow you wouldn't believe.
‎用这冰块做个“8”字形滑冰动作吧 -Hey, do a figure-eight on that.
‎我的兴致正要上来你就扫我的兴 I'm turning on. You're just turning.
‎-迈克尔 你有空气清新剂吗？ ‎-发胶？ -Michael? Is there any air spray? - Hairspray?
‎你应该帮他恢复理智 ‎而不是帮他做头发 You're supposed to be holding his head, not doing his hair.
‎是空气清新剂 不是发胶 Air spray, not hairspray.
‎厕所柜子上面有瓶花香清新剂 There's a can of floral spray on top of the john.
‎谢谢 Thanks.
‎我把我的叶子放在药箱里面 ‎在一个创可贴的盒子里 I keep my grass in the medicine cabinet in a Band-Aid box.
‎据说那是最安全的地方 Somebody told me it's the safest place.
‎如果警察来了 ‎你可以跑到厕所里把门关上 If the cops arrive, you can lock yourself in the bathroom
‎把叶子扔马桶里冲走 and flush it down the john.
‎真是聪明 That's very cagey.
‎反正比我之前放的地方靠谱 Makes more sense than where I was keeping it.
‎我之前把叶子藏在 ‎调味架上的牛至调料罐里 In an oregano jar in the spice rack.
‎但我总是忘了这事 弄得讨厌的老妈 ‎做沙拉加调料时不小心吃了 I kept forgetting, and accidentally turning my hateful mother on with a salad,
‎但她好像挺享受的 but I think she likes it.
‎后来不管做什么饭 ‎哪怕是早饭 她都会说 No matter what meal she comes over for, even if it's breakfast, she says,
‎“我们做沙拉吃吧” "Let's have a salad!"
‎你肯定是那种即使看书 ‎嘴巴都还不停念叨的人 You are definitely the type that still moves his lips when he reads,
‎哪怕在蒸汽浴室里 and who sits in a steam room
‎都还会说：“你觉得够热吗？” and says things like, "Hot enough for you?"
‎我去健身房的时候不会用蒸汽浴室 I never use the steam room when I go to the gym.
‎那样就白练了 人会瘪下来 It's bad after a workout. It flattens you down.
‎因为之前好不容易才鼓起来 ‎为此还把背扭伤了是吗？ Just after you've broken your back to blow yourself up like a poisoned dog?
‎-对 ‎-你说的对 哈罗德 -Yeah. - You're right, Harold.
‎他不光没法畅谈艺术 Not only can he not talk intelligently about art,
‎连普通谈话都跟不上 he can't even follow from one sentence to the next.
‎但他很美 But he's beautiful.
‎他有令人难以置信的天生丽质 He has unnatural natural beauty.
‎-当然 我不是说美貌就代表一切 ‎-美貌并非一切 -Not that that means anything. -It doesn't mean everything.
‎继续这么自我安慰吧 ‎你头发都一抓一把地在掉了 Keep telling yourself that as your hair drops out in handfuls.
‎不过人上了年纪之后 ‎发际线不断后退也是很自然的事 Not that it's not natural for one's hair to recede as one reaches seniority.
‎同志比女人更没法接受自己的年龄 You know, faggots are worse than women about their age.
‎他们觉得过了30岁人生就结束了 They think their lives are over at 30.
‎外表美并没有那么重要 Physical beauty is not that goddamned important.
‎说的很对 怎么可能会重要呢？ Well, of course it's not. How could it be?
‎外表美是给旁人看的 It's only in the eye of the beholder.
‎外表美也很肤浅 别忘了这点 And it's only skin-deep. Don't forget about that one.
‎没有 我完全没忘 Oh, no, I haven't forgotten that one at all.
‎外表美很肤浅 还转瞬即逝 It's only skin-deep, and it's transitory, too.
‎转瞬即逝到让人害怕 It's terribly transitory.
‎美貌能持续多久呢？ ‎顶多30年或40年或50年吧 I mean, how long does it last? 30 or 40 or 50 years at the most?
‎这个可怜宝贝有这样 ‎一张漂亮脸蛋实在不幸 Yes, it's too bad about this poor boy's face.
‎简直是悲剧 It's tragic.
‎他一定被诅咒了 He's absolutely cursed.
‎他的外表怎么能和我的灵魂相比？ And how could his beauty ever compare with my soul?
‎尽管我从没见过我的灵魂 And although I have never seen my soul,
‎但我妈的拉比说我的灵魂非常迷人 I understand from my mother's rabbi that it's a knockout.
‎可我没法把我的灵魂找出来看一看 I, however, cannot seem to locate it for a gander,
‎要是能找出来 我会马上把它卖掉 and if I could, I would sell it in a flash
‎换取肤浅、转瞬即逝 ‎且没有意义的美貌 for some skin-deep, transitory, meaningless beauty.
‎原谅他吧 上帝 ‎他不知道他在说什么 Forgive him, Father, for he know not what he do.
‎迈克尔 真受不了你 Oh, Michael, you kill me.
‎你都不知道你现在是什么立场了吧？ You don't know which side of the fence you're on.
‎有人说支持宗教的话 你要反对 If somebody says something pro-religion, you're against them.
‎有人说不相信上帝 你也要反对 If somebody denies God, you're against them.
‎你在这方面大概有点问题 One might say you have a problem in this area.
‎你受不了它 但又离不开它 You can't live with it, you can't live without it.
‎-小心烫！ ‎-喂！ -Hot stuff coming through! -Hey!
‎你知道吗？想干掉你真是易如反掌 You know what? One could murder you with very little effort.
‎你对宗教的态度就像买保险 You hang on to that great insurance policy called the church.
‎对 我相信有上帝 That's right, I believe in God.
‎如果最后发现没有上帝 ‎我不会有损失 And if it turns out that there really isn't one? Okay, nothing lost.
‎但如果真的有 那我就赚到了 But if it turns out that there is, I'm covered.
‎你这个虚伪的女人 Harriet Hypocrite, that's who you are.
‎对 我就是那种前一天晚上醉生梦死 Right. I am one of those truly rotten Catholics
‎然后第二天早上 ‎去教堂做弥撒的堕落天主教徒 who gets drunk, sins all night, and goes to Mass the next morning.
‎那得看你说的堕落是指什么了 It depends on what you think sin is.
‎你能把嘴闭上然后滚回厨房吗？ Would you shut your minty mouth and get back to the goddamn kitchen?
‎你说什么都可以 别打我就行 Say whatever you want. Just don't hit me.
‎喂 他下面大吗？ Well, is it bigger than a breadstick?
‎他要躺一会儿 He's laying down for a little bit.
‎-现在浴室还很难闻吗？ ‎-好点了 -How does the bathroom smell? -Better.
‎之前闻起来像是有人吐了 -Before it smelled like somebody puked.
‎现在闻起来 ‎像是有人在栀子花园里吐了 Now it smells like somebody puked in a gardenia patch.
‎开饭了！ Dinner is served!
‎你要吃什么 宝贝？ What would you like, big boy?
‎他想吃艾伦麦卡锡 ‎还有 记得加蛋黄酱 Alan McCarthy, and don't hold the mayo.
‎埃埃 看上去可真不错啊 Oh, Em, it looks absolutely fabulous.
‎我可以当个好妻子 I'd make somebody a good wife.
‎-这是什么？ ‎-千层面 -What is it? -Lasagna.
‎看上去像是压扁了的意面和肉丸 Looks like spaghetti and meatballs sort of flattened out.
‎因为它们进过蒸汽浴室 -Well, it's been in the steam room.
‎-真的吗？ ‎-我的天 -It has? -Oh, my God.
‎“看上去像是压扁了的意面和肉丸” "It looks like spaghetti and meatballs sort of flattened out."
‎哎呀 哈罗德 他可真是让人嫉妒呢 Oh, yes, Harold, truly enviable.
‎他和你完全相反 你又懂高级烹饪 As opposed to you, who knows so much about haute cuisine.
‎又健谈 又会欣赏美食 ‎但是又老又丑 Raconteur, gourmet, troll.
‎-真好吃 ‎-喜欢吗？那多吃点 -It's good. -You like it? Eat it.
‎把你的嘴塞满 ‎这样就什么话都不用说了 Stuff your mouth so you can't say anything.
‎又扫兴 Turning.
‎-要红酒吗？ ‎-不用 谢谢 - Wine? - No, thank you.
‎别这样嘛 强迫自己喝一点 Oh, go on, kiddo. Force yourself.
‎喝点廉价红酒 ‎把这沮丧的意面冲下去 Have a little vin ordinaire to wash down all that depressed pasta.
‎你又变成侍酒师和红酒品鉴家了呢 ‎真是惹人厌 Sommelier, connoisseur, pig.
‎你不吃点吗？ Aren't you gonna have any?
‎不了 我嘴巴会疼的 ‎有人上去给艾伦送点吃的吗？ No, my lip hurts too much to eat. Anybody gonna bring a plate up to Alan?
‎刚才还被他像沙袋一样打呢 ‎现在又要当南丁格尔照顾他了吗？ Oh. The punching bag is now dissolved into Flo Nightingale.
‎你喜欢吗 哈里？ Do you like it, Hallie?
‎我还要来第二盘、第三盘甚至第五盘 Mmm. I'm having seconds and thirds and maybe even fifths.
‎我都迫不及待让体重飞涨了 I'm absolutely desperate to keep the weight up.
‎你对什么事都疑神疑鬼的 You're absolutely paranoid about absolutely everything.
‎是吗？你就不能别跟我说这种话吗？ Oh, yeah? Well, why don't you not tell me about it?
‎你一整天什么东西都不吃 You starve yourself all day
‎等饿得不行了 才狼吞虎咽大吃一顿 so that you can gorge yourself at one meal,
‎吃完之后你又满腹牢骚 ‎说自己变胖变丑了 and then you moan and groan about how fat you are and how ugly you are,
‎其实你既没变胖也没变瘦 when the truth is you're no fatter or thinner than you ever were.
‎-妄想症 ‎-你做得真好吃 埃默里 -Polly Paranoia. -This is great, Emory.
‎康妮砂锅菜 ‎一点都不麻烦 行了 别问 Connie Casserole. No trouble at all. Oh, Mary, don't ask.
‎还有 你总是无法控制地迟到 ‎让人抓狂 Oh! Oh! And this pathological lateness, that's downright crazy.
‎扫兴！ Turning!
‎你出门之前总是在镜子面前 Standing before a bathroom mirror for hours and hours
‎打量好几个小时 before you can walk out on the street,
‎不知道在脸上涂了多少东西 ‎擦了多少药膏 and looking no different after Christ knows how many applications
‎用了多少面霜和面膜 ‎结果看上去还不是没两样 of Christ knows how many ointments and salves and creams and masks.
‎我皮肤不好 我能怎么办？ I've got bad skin. What can I tell you?
‎有谁故意拿镊子残害毛孔之后 Who wouldn't after they deliberately take a pair of tweezers
‎皮肤还会好？ and deliberately mutilate their pores?
‎你年复一年这么折腾自己的皮肤 There's no wonder you got holes in your face
‎脸上不坑坑洼洼才怪 after the hack job you have done on yourself year in and year out.
‎没人比你更讨厌了 King of the pig people.
‎没错 你脸上是有些疤 ‎但也不是特别糟糕 Yes, you've got scars on your face, but they're not that bad.
‎如果你别总折腾自己 And if you'd leave yourself alone,
‎你就不会有那么多自找的麻烦 you wouldn't have any more than you've already awarded yourself.
‎你是想让我赞美你 You'd really like me to compliment you now, wouldn't you,
‎特别诚实是吗？ for how honest you're being?
‎装作我最好的朋友 For being my best friend who will tell me
‎对我说些连我最好的朋友 ‎都不会跟我说的话 你这可恶的母猪 what even my best friends won't tell me, you hateful sow.
‎还有药的事！ And the pills!
‎哈罗德过去一年 Harold has been gathering, saving,
‎一直在攒巴比妥酸盐 and storing up barbiturates for the past year
‎跟只松鼠似的 like a goddamn squirrel.
‎还攒了数不清的耐波他和速可眠 Hundreds of Nembutals, hundreds of Seconals.
‎都是为了 All in preparation for,
‎到时候自杀准备的 and anticipation of, the long winter of his death.
‎我告诉你 哈里 I'll tell you right now, Hallie,
‎真到那个时候 你不会有种自杀 when the time comes, you'll never have the guts.
‎生活和戏剧里演的可不一样 It's not always like it happens in plays.
‎并不是所有的同志最终都以自杀结局 Not all faggots bump themselves off at the end of the story.
‎你说的或许属实 -What you say may be true.
‎时间无疑会给出一切答案 Time will undoubtedly tell.
‎但你忽略了一个细节 But in the meantime, you've left out one detail.
‎那些化妆品和收敛水是我花钱买的 The cosmetics and astringents are paid for,
‎浴室是我花钱租的 the bathroom is paid for,
‎镊子是我花钱买的 the tweezers are paid for,
‎那些药…也都是我花钱买的 and the pills… are paid for.
‎祝你生日快乐 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
‎天啊 - Oh, Jesus.
‎祝你生日快乐 -♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
‎祝你生日快乐 亲爱的哈罗德 ♪ Happy birthday, dear Harold ♪
‎祝你生日快乐 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
‎你真好 You're so sweet.
‎把蜡烛吹了 许个愿吧 Blow out the candles, Mary, and make a wish!
‎把蜡烛吹了 姐们 Blow out your candles, Laura.
‎-她32岁了 还很年轻！ ‎-天啊 - She's 32 years young! - Oh, my God.
‎-拆礼物吧 ‎-从这个开始 -Now you have to open your gifts. -Start with this one.
‎礼物！卡片在哪里？ Presents! Where's the card?
‎这里 -Uh… - Here.
‎-是拉里送的 ‎-拉里 -Oh, from Larry. - Larry.
‎你干嘛要把卡片放在背面？ Why would you put it on the back?
‎太棒了 我很喜欢 拉里 Oh, it's heaven. Oh, I just love it, Larry.
‎-这是什么？ ‎-这是“木板路”的地契 -What is it? -The deed to Boardwalk.
‎这是同志波普艺术 - Aw. Gay pop art.
‎超棒的 拉里 ‎我一回家就把它挂起来 Oh, Larry, it's super. It goes up the minute I get home.
‎-好啊 ‎-我没搞懂 -Oh, good. - I don't get it.
‎你是要游览大西洋城还是什么？ You cruise Atlantic City or something?
‎你付了他多少钱？ How much did you pay for him?
‎-他很便宜 ‎-我不便宜 我收了20美金呢 -He was a steal. -I'm not a steal. I cost $20.
‎那你收20美金都能做什么？ And what do you do for $20?
‎我会尽力的 I do my best.
‎多漂亮的毛衣啊 Oh, what a nifty sweater.
‎谢谢你 汉克 Thank you, Hank.
‎如果你不喜欢 ‎可以把它退回去换别的衣服 You can take it back, exchange it for something else.
‎不 我觉得这件衣服就很…漂亮 -No, I think this one is just… nifty.
‎-谁要吃蛋糕？ ‎-大家都要吗？ -Who wants cake? - Everybody?
‎我不要 None for me.
‎-给 ‎-谢谢 -There you go. -Thanks.
‎伯纳德！好高贵哦！ Oh, Bernard! How divine!
‎你们看 镶满宝石的护膝 Look, everybody, bejeweled knee pads.
‎还绣着你的姓名首字母 Monogrammed.
‎伯纳德 你真浮夸！ Bernard, you're a camp!
‎谢谢你 迈克尔 Thank you, Michael.
‎什么？ What?
‎-不用谢 ‎-他送的什么 哈罗德？ -You're welcome. - What is it, Harold?
‎是一张他的照片 用银色相框包着 It's a photograph of him in a silver frame,
‎上面还刻着一些字和日期 and there's an inscription engraved and the date.
‎刻的什么字？ What's it say?
‎只是一些私人的话 Just something personal.
‎伯纳德 ‎我们放点音乐活跃一下气氛怎么样？ Hey, Bernard, what do you say we have a little music to liven things up?
‎-好啊 ‎-好耶 我想要跳舞 -Okay. -Yeah, I feel like dancing.
‎来吧 迈克尔 Come on, Michael.
‎不了 谢谢 我只能领舞 Oh, no, thanks. I can only lead.
‎-我跟得上你 ‎-我要喝着酒把这支曲子听完再说 - I can follow. -Oh, I think I'll sip this one out.
♪ You see this guy? ♪
♪ This guy's in love with you ♪
♪ Yes, I'm in love ♪
♪ Who looks at you the way I do? ♪
♪ When you smile I can tell ♪
♪ We know each other very well ♪
♪ How can I show you ♪
♪ I'm glad I got to know you? ♪
♪ 'Cause I've heard some talk ♪
‎来吧 特克斯 Come on, Tex.
♪ They say you think I'm fine ♪
‎该你上场了 -You're on.
♪ Yes, I'm in love ♪
♪ And what I'd do to make you mine ♪
♪ Tell me now, is it so? ♪
♪ Don't let me be the last to know ♪
♪ My hands are shaking ♪
♪ Don't let my heart keep breaking ♪
♪ 'Cause I need your love ♪
♪ I want your love ♪
♪ Say you're in love ♪
♪ In love with this guy ♪
♪ If not, I'll just die ♪
‎可恶 Shit.
‎-迈克尔！ ‎-大家快来搬东西 -Michael! - Everybody, help clean up.
‎快！ Go, go, go! Come on!
‎过来 孩子 -Come here, kid.
‎-大家赶紧！ ‎-快关门！ - Everybody, hurry up! - Close the door!
‎-来吧 各位 ‎-快 - Come on, guys. - Come on.
‎都给我进屋 Get the fuck inside.
‎天哪 - Oh God.
‎我身上的水漏得到处都是 I'm dripping all over.
‎拿毛巾 别把家具弄湿了 Take a towel. Don't get the goddamn furniture wet.
‎-给 用毛巾擦一下 ‎-天啊 迈克尔 -Here. Towel. Dry off. -Jesus, Michael.
‎谢谢 迈克尔 -Thanks. Thanks, Michael.
‎想跳舞吗？ Wanna dance?
‎暴君来了 Uh-oh, Yvonne the Terrible is back.
‎哈喽 艾伦 感觉好些了吗？ Oh, hello, Alan. You feel better?
‎不 艾伦 不 Oh, no. No, no, no. Alan, no.
‎南方腹地的人常说 暴雨天气别乱跑 As they say in the Deep South, don't rush off in this inclement weather.
‎因为打不到车 You'll never get a cab.
‎革命完成了 Revolution complete.
‎你错过了生日蛋糕 错过了拆礼物 You missed the cake and you missed the opening of the gifts,
‎但是你运气还不错 but you're still in luck.
‎正好赶上游戏时间 You're just in time for a party game.
‎各位 游戏时间到 Hey, everybody, game time.
‎干嘛不让他走 迈克尔？ Michael, why don't you just let him go?
‎如果他想走的话 可以走 He can go if he wants to,
‎但得先把游戏玩了 but not before we play a little game.
‎什么游戏？猜电影明星？ What's it gonna be, movie-star gin?
‎不 这对艾伦来说太娘娘腔了 ‎他肯定不擅长 No. No, that's too faggy for Alan to play. He wouldn't be any good at it.
‎你想玩什么 迈克尔？真心话游戏？ What would you like to play, Michael? The Truth Game?
‎聪明 哈里 Cute, Hallie.
‎又或者是杀人游戏？ Or would you like to play Murder?
‎-你们都还记得杀人游戏吧？ ‎-你真聪明 -You all remember that one, don't you? - Very, very cute.
‎据我所知 这两个游戏差不多 As I recall, they're quite similar.
‎规则一样 都是要把某个人杀死 The rules are the same in both: you kill somebody.
‎-米奇 我要走了 ‎-你不许走 -Mickey, I'm leaving. -Stay where you are.
‎迈克尔 让他走吧 -Michael, let him go.
‎他其实并不想走 - He really doesn't want to.
‎真想走的话 他早走了 If he did, he'd have left a long time ago,
‎而且压根也不会来我这里 or he wouldn't have come in the first place.
‎-米奇 我不太… ‎-我的名字是迈克尔 -Mickey. I don't feel-- -My name is Michael.
‎我叫迈克尔 I'm called Michael.
‎永远都不要 ‎把一个叫迈克尔的人叫作“米奇” You must never call anyone called Michael "Mickey."
‎名字是迈克尔的人 ‎听别人叫自己米奇会浑身不自在 Those of us who are named Michael get very nervous about it.
‎你要不信的话 可以试试 If you don't believe it, try it.
‎我很抱歉 我… I'm sorry. I…
‎我没法思考 I can't think.
‎你可以思考 You can think.
‎你只是做不到离开这里 What you can't do is leave.
‎就像是高速公路上发生了车祸 It's like watching an accident on a highway.
‎你不敢看 但又不得不看 You can't look at it, and you can't look away.
‎有谁要跟我和艾伦一起玩吗？ ‎各位都想玩吗？ Who's going to play with Alan and me? Everyone?
‎-我不想玩 ‎-我也不想 -I have no intention of playing. -Yeah, nor do I.
‎看来不是每个人都是生活的参与者 Well, not everyone is a participant in life.
‎总有一些人只喜欢旁观 There are always those who stand on the sidelines and watch.
‎-游戏怎么玩？ ‎-很简单 -What's the game? - Simply this:
‎每个人 We all have to call on the telephone
‎给自己真心爱过的人打电话 the one person we truly believe we have loved.
‎-我不玩 ‎-不行 你得玩 -I'm not playing. -Oh, yes, you are.
‎你希望我玩是吗？ -You'd like for me to play.
‎你最近海誓山盟了一番 -I'd like to know who you'd call
‎我倒想看看你现在会打给谁 after all the fancy speeches I've heard lately.
‎你会打给谁 汉克？会打给我吗？ Who'd you call, Hank? Would you call me?
‎听上去似乎天堂里起了争执 Oh! Sounds like there's, how you say, trouble in paradise.
‎我相信就算没有争执 ‎你也会把争执搅起来 Well, if there isn't, I'm sure you could stir up some.
‎那你会打给谁？ And who would you call? Hmm?
‎我可不觉得你会打给我 Don't think I think for one minute that it would be me.
‎一通电话对你来说根本不够 ‎你要打好几通吧？ Or that one call would do it. You'd have to make several.
‎三通长途电话 ‎还有不知道多少通本地电话 Three long-distance, God only knows how many locals.
‎-幸好不用我付电话费 ‎-安静 -I'm glad I don't have to pay the bill. -Quiet.
‎别担心 迈克尔也不会付的 Don't worry. Michael won't pay it either.
‎规则是这样 ‎只要你打电话 就能得一分 Now, here's how it works. If you make the call, you get one point.
‎如果是你想找的那个人接的 加两分 If the person you are calling answers, you get two more points.
‎别人接的 就只加一分 Somebody else answers, you only get one.
‎如果没人接… And if there's no answer at all…
‎你就玩完了 you're screwed.
‎你们要是真打电话了才要玩完呢 You're screwed if you make the call.
‎当你找的那个人接电话之后 When you get the person whom you are calling on the line,
‎如果你告诉对方你是谁 ‎加两分 然后… if you tell them who you are, you get two points. And then…
‎如果你告诉他你爱他 If you tell them that you love them,
‎再加五分 you get a bonus of five more points.
‎讨厌的游戏 -Hateful.
‎因此你最高能得十分 最低得一分 Therefore, you can get as many as ten points and as few as one.
‎如果你知道怎么玩的话 ‎一分也得不了 You can get as few as none if you know how to work it.
‎汉克 要跟我一起离开吗？ Hank, leave with me?
‎哇 听听 Oh, well, now, did you hear that?
‎你不明白 艾伦 我不能走 You don't understand, Alan. I can't.
‎你可以走 但我不能走 You can, but I can't.
‎如果他不明白的话 ‎你就解释给他听啊 If he doesn't understand, explain it to him.
‎-我来解释吧 ‎-我就知道你忍不住 -I'll explain it. -I had a feeling you might.
‎艾伦 汉克和拉里是一对儿 Alan, Hank and Larry are lovers.
‎他们不光是室友 They're not roommates.
‎-还是床伴 他们是一对儿 ‎-迈克尔 -Bedmates, lovers. -Michael.
‎没有哪个男人 ‎40岁之后还有纯粹的室友 No man's still got a roommate when he's over 40 years old.
‎如果他们不是一对儿 就肯定是姐妹 If they're not lovers, they're sisters.
‎-是汉克40多岁了 ‎-你也快了 -Hank is the one who's over 40. -Well, you're pushing it.
‎汉克？ Hank.
‎没错 艾伦 我和拉里是情人 Yes, Alan. Larry and I are lovers.
‎可是… But…
‎你不是结婚了吗？ But you're married.
‎天啊 Jesus Christ.
‎我觉得你说错话了 I think you said the wrong thing.
‎这种怪异的想法还真是有趣呢 Don't you love that quaint little idea?
‎竟然会有人觉得 ‎如果一个男人结婚 就必定是异性恋 If a man's married, he's automatically heterosexual.
‎艾伦 汉克男女通吃 但更偏好男人 Alan, Hank swings both ways… with a definite preference.
‎好了…谁第一个打电话？ Now… who makes the first call?
‎-埃默里？ ‎-你先打 伯纳德 -Emory? -You go, Bernard.
‎-不要 ‎-来嘛 打给彼得达尔贝克 -Mm. I don't want to. -Go on, call up Peter Dahlbeck.
‎-你想打给他不是吗？ ‎-谁是彼得达尔贝克？ -That's who you'd like to call, isn't it? - Who is Peter Dahlbeck?
‎一个在底特律的男孩 The boy in Detroit
‎伯纳德还是小屁孩的时候 ‎伯纳德他妈就一直给他们家做洗衣工 whose family Bernard's mother has been a laundress for since he was a little black-eyed pea.
‎我放学后和放暑假的时候 I worked for them, too,
‎也会给他们家干活 after school and every summer.
‎我觉得我一直都爱着他 I think I've loved him all my life.
‎但他连我是不是还活着都不知道 But he never knew I was alive.
‎而且他是直男 Besides, he's straight.
‎你们之间从没发生过什么吗？ Nothing ever happened between you?
‎他们做过 ‎有天晚上在泳池聚会上喝醉之后 They finally made it in the pool house one night
‎在一个泳池别墅里做的 after a drunken swimming party.
‎喝着酒 放着音乐 ‎有几个人能禁得住好奇心的驱使呢？ With the right wine and the right music, there are damn few that aren't curious.
‎之后 我们光着身子 And afterwards, we went swimming,
‎一起在黑夜里游泳 ‎只能看到月光映照着水面 in the nude, in the dark, only the moon reflecting the water.
‎真浪漫啊 How romantic.
‎然后第二天早上你把咖啡和胃药 ‎用托盘装着给他端了过去是吗？ And the next morning, you took him his coffee and Alka-Seltzer on a tray.
‎我记得我那天早上焦虑得要死 ‎不知道该怎么面对他 I remember I was worried sick all morning about having to face him,
‎但他一副什么事都没发生过的样子 but he pretended like nothing at all had happened.
‎天啊 他一定是醉得很厉害 ‎什么都想不起来了 Christ, he must have been so drunk, he didn't remember a thing.
‎是这样才怪 Odd how that works.
‎来吧 打给那个骗子 ‎说不定可以得十分呢 And now for ten points, get that liar on the phone. - Mmm! - Oh!
‎你记得号码吗？ You know the number?
‎当然 他回格罗斯角了 现在住在家里 Sure, he's back in Grosse Pointe, living at home.
‎他刚和他第三任老婆分居 Just got separated from his third wife.
‎-DA还是BY？ ‎-什么意思？ -DA or BY? -What?
‎接线员术语 ‎DA指没人接 BY指占线 It's operator lingo. It means "doesn't answer" or "busy."
‎他还没听到声音就自己挂了 He didn't even give it time to find out.
‎来嘛 伯纳德 继续打 Come on, Bernard. Pick up that phone.
‎你知道你想打给他 不是吗？ You know you want to call him. You know that, don't you?
‎打嘛 Well, go ahead.
‎你的好奇已经占了上风 ‎所以继续打给他吧 Your curiosity's got the best of you now. So go on, call him.
‎快呀 Do it.
‎-喂？ ‎-一分 -Hello? - One point.
‎请问您是谁？ Who's speaking?
‎-达尔贝克太太 ‎-加一分 -Mrs. Dahlbeck. - One point.
‎我是伯纳德 It's Bernard.
‎是弗朗辛的孩子 Francine's boy.
‎是儿子 别说孩子 - Son, not boy. -Shh.
‎我很好 谢谢 Oh, just fine, thank you.
‎达尔贝克太太 彼得在家吗？ Mrs. Dahlbeck, is-is… Peter at home?
‎我知道了 Oh, I see.
‎该死 Oh, shit.
‎不 -Oh, no, no.
‎不不不 没什么要紧事 我… Oh, no, no. No, no. It-It's nothing important. I, um…
‎我只是想跟他说… I just wanted to tell him that…
‎只是想跟他说我… Just to tell him that I…
‎“我爱他…一直都爱他” I love him… and I've always loved him.
‎我听说了他和他妻子的事 ‎我感到很遗憾 That I was very sorry to hear about him and his wife.
‎没分加 No points.
‎是我妈写信告诉我的 Mama wrote me.
‎对 是这样 确实是这样… Yes, it is. It-It-It really is. Well, uh…
‎你可以告诉他我打过电话吗？ ‎告诉他我… Would you just tell him that I called and said that I…
‎我… That I, uh…
‎我为他们的事感到很遗憾 I was just very, very sorry to hear
‎希望他们能把事情解决好 and hope they can get everything straightened out.
‎晚安 Good night. Uh-huh.
‎再见 Goodbye.
‎共得两分 Two points total.
‎-太糟了 下一个 ‎-你没事吧 伯纳德？ -Terrible. Next. -You all right, Bernard?
‎我干嘛要打这电话？ Why did I call?
‎我干嘛要打这电话？ Why did I do that?
‎-他在哪里？ ‎-出门约会去了 -Where was he? -Out on a date.
‎来吧 埃默里 Come on. Emory.
‎该你了 Punch in.
‎能帮我查一个号码吗？ May I have a number, please?
‎是布朗克斯区 In the Bronx.
‎一个叫德尔伯特博启的人 For a Delbert Botts.
‎“一个”叫德尔伯特博启的人？ ‎能有多少人叫这种名字？ A Delbert Botts? How many could there be?
‎我真希望刚才没打那通电话 Wish I hadn't called now.
‎不 是住宅电话 No, the residence number, please.
‎谢谢 Thank you.
‎我真的希望接线员别再叫我“女士” I do wish Information would stop calling me "ma'am."
‎拜托 别在我的电话上乱画 -Hey, by all means, scribble all over my phone.
‎用一点口水就可以擦掉的 It comes off with a little spit.
‎和很多东西一样 Ooh, like a lot of things.
‎这个德尔伯特博启到底是谁？ Who the hell is Delbert Botts?
‎他就是那个我一直爱着的人 ‎你不是说要打给爱的人吗？ The one person I've always loved. That's who you said to call, isn't it?
‎没错 “爱茉莉” Right, emery board.
‎你怎么会爱上一个叫这种名字的人？ Ugh, how could you love somebody with a name like that?
‎是啊 埃默里 甭管谁叫这个名字 ‎你都不应该爱上他 Yes, Emory, you couldn't possibly love anyone with a name like that.
‎这姓氏听上去可不优雅 ‎对吗 艾伦？ That wouldn't look good on a place card. Right, Alan?
‎我承认他的名字确实不太好 I admit his name is not so good,
‎但他… but he…
‎长得非常美 Absolutely beautiful.
‎我五年级第一次见到他 I've loved him ever since the first day I laid eyes on him,
‎就爱上了他 which was when I was in the fifth grade
‎那时他上高三 and he was a senior.
‎然后他就上大学了 Then he went away to college,
‎等他毕业的时候 我还在上高中 and by the time he got out, I was in high school.
‎他后来当了牙医 And he had become… a dentist.
‎那你是不是去他那里 ‎把你的牙齿全拔了？ And you went and had every tooth in your head pulled out, right?
‎不 No.
‎我只是去那里洗牙 I just had my teeth cleaned, that's all.
‎-我不该打电话的 ‎-你能闭嘴吗 伯纳德？ -Oh, I shouldn't have called. -Will you shut up, Bernard?
‎去别处念经去吧 ‎别在这里叨叨 让人昏昏欲睡 去吧 And take your boring, sleep-making icks somewhere else. Go.
‎我记得我一直看着他的眼睛 I remember I looked right in his eyes the whole time.
‎一直想要咬他的手指 I kept wanting to bite his fingers.
‎画面简直让人难以想象 Well, it's absolutely mind-boggling.
‎-阴茎崇拜 ‎-画面简直让人难以想象 -Phyllis Phallic. -It absolutely boggles the mind.
‎我告诉他我要把我的牙洗一下 I told him I was having my teeth cleaned
‎为学年末的舞会做准备 ‎我负责为那个舞会做装饰 for the junior-senior prom for which I was in charge of decorations.
‎我告诉他舞会的装饰是以天空为主题 I told him it was a celestial theme,
‎星星是我用锡箔做的 and I was cutting stars out of tin foil
‎云是我用金银丝和铁丝网做的 and making clouds out of chicken wire and angel's hair.
‎只有同志才能把这些东西做得好看 Oh, Mary, it takes a fairy to make something pretty.
‎有次圣诞假期 ‎我把金银丝弄到衬衣上 I got angel's hair down my shirt once at Christmastime.
‎天啊 弄得我好痒 Gosh, did it itch.
‎幸亏没把金银丝放进我的… It would be terrible if you got that stuff in your…
‎我不说话了 I'll be quiet.
‎后来他和一个叫洛兰的蠢女孩订婚了 He was engaged to this stupid-ass girl named Loraine,
‎那女孩她妈是个超级大贱人 whose mother was truly a real see-you-next-Tuesday.
‎别扯远了 Uh-uh. Don't digress.
‎总之 我受伤了 整个人日渐消沉 Well, anyway… I was a wreck. I mean, a total mess.
‎吃不下饭 睡不着觉 ‎坐着站着都没力气 什么都干不了 I couldn't eat, sleep, stand up, sit down, nothing.
‎最后我打电话给他 ‎问他能不能和他单独见一面 Finally, I called him on the phone and asked if I could see him alone.
‎显然不是明智的举动 Clearly, not the coolest of moves.
‎他答应了 He said okay.
‎让我去他家找他 Told me to come by his house.
‎我很紧张 手在发抖 ‎甚至不敢直视他 I was so nervous, my hands were shaking. I couldn't even look at him.
‎我眼睛盯着别的地方 ‎告诉他我为什么来找他 I just… stared straight in space and blurted out why I'd come.
‎我跟他说我希望他当我的朋友 I told him I wanted him to be my friend.
‎我说我从来没有一个可以交心的朋友 I said that I had never had a friend I could talk to
‎一个可以无所不谈、绝对信任的朋友 and tell everything to and-and trust.
‎我问他能不能当我的朋友 I asked him if he would be my friend.
‎他说他很乐意当我的朋友 He said he would be glad to be my friend,
‎说我什么时候想见他或给他打电话 and anytime I wanted to see him or call him,
‎都可以直接打给他 他就会见我 to just call him and he'd see me.
‎然后他握了我颤抖的手 ‎我走的时候… And he shook my trembling hand, and I left…
‎感觉自己就像在云端 -on a cloud.
‎你自己做的那种云吗？ -One of the ones you made yourself.
‎第二天 And the next day,
‎我出去给他买了一个镀金的打火机 I went out and bought him a gold-plated cigarette lighter
‎还在上面刻了他的姓名首字母 and had his initials monogrammed on it.
‎我还附了一张卡片 写着 ‎“你的朋友埃默里送上” I wrote a card that said, "From your friend, Emory."
‎才17岁就送这么贵重的礼物 Seventeen years old and already big with the gifts.
‎然而舞会那天晚上 And then the night of the prom,
‎我听到洛兰和另外一个 ‎我认识的女生在一起偷笑 I heard Loraine and another girl I knew giggling together.
‎很明显 德尔把我去找他 ‎还有送礼物的事告诉了洛兰 Obviously, Del had told Loraine about my calling and about the gift.
‎所有参加舞会的人很快就都知道了 Pretty soon, everybody at the dance had heard about it.
‎他们全都笑话我 They were laughing and making jokes.
‎他们都知道 ‎我喜欢上了德尔伯特博启医生 Everybody knew that I had a crush on Dr. Delbert Botts
‎还请求他做我的朋友 and that I had asked him to be my friend.
‎但他们不知道我爱上了他 What they didn't know was that I loved him,
‎而且我会一直爱他 and that I would go on loving him
‎直到别人都忘了我可笑的小秘密 ‎我依然会一直爱他 years after they had all forgotten my funny little secret.
‎好吧 我需要注射胰岛素 Well, I for one need an insulin injection.
‎-打给他吧 ‎-不要 埃默里 -Call him. -Don't, Emory.
‎从几时起要你来告诉他该怎么做了？ Since when are you telling him what to do?
‎别打 你会后悔的 相信我 Don't. You'll be sorry. Take my word for it.
‎我能损失什么？ What have I got to lose?
‎你的尊严 你会失去你的尊严 Your dignity. That's what you've got to lose.
‎真是笑话 我很喜… Oh, that's a knee-slapper. I love…
‎你任由他嘲笑你是汤姆叔叔 You're telling him about dignity
‎任由他不停羞辱你 when you allow him to degrade you constantly
‎你还好意思告诉他什么是尊严？ by Uncle Tom-ing you to death.
‎他可以嘲笑我 迈克尔 ‎我也可以嘲笑我自己 但你不行 He can do it, Michael. I can do it. But you can't do it.
‎你这是歧视我吗？ Isn't that discrimination?
‎我不喜欢他嘲笑我 ‎我也不喜欢我嘲笑自己 I don't like it from him, and I don't like it from me.
‎但我忍不住嘲笑我自己 But I do it to myself,
‎我也允许他嘲笑我 and I let him do it.
‎因为对他来说 只有这样 I let him do it because it's the only thing that,
‎他才会觉得我和他是平等的 to him, makes him my equal.
‎我和他都有各自的伤痛 We both got the short end of the stick,
‎但我得到的还是比他多很多 ‎他也清楚 but I got a hell of a lot more than he did, and he knows it.
‎我任他嘲笑我是汤姆叔叔 I let him Uncle Tom me
‎因为只有这样 ‎他才能告诉自己他不是彻底的失败者 just so he can tell himself he's not a complete loser.
‎你还真体贴啊 How very considerate.
‎这是他的防御方式 迈克尔 It's his defense, Michael.
‎你也有自己的防御方式 ‎只不过你的难以形容 You have your defense, but it's indescribable.
‎我有个从自由的南方腹地 ‎听来的小笑话 你们想听吗？ Y'all want to hear a little polite parlor jest from the liberal Deep South?
‎你们知道 ‎为什么黑鬼的嘴唇特别厚吗？ Do you know why niggers have such big lips?
‎-因为他们总是这样… ‎-天啊 迈克尔！ Because they're always going…
‎把这给我 放手 迈克尔 Christ, Michael! Give me that. Let go, Michael.
‎我自己能擦干净 别往我电话上 ‎抹口水 你这个娘炮胆小鬼！ I can do without your goddamn spit on my telephone, you nellie coward!
‎我或许娘 但我不是胆小鬼！ I may be nellie, but I'm no coward!
‎伯纳德… Yo, Bernard…
‎原谅我 我很抱歉 forgive me. I'm sorry.
‎我再也不会对你说那种话了 I won't ever say those things to you again.
‎-BY ‎-占线了？ -BY. -It's busy?
‎洛兰可能在跟她妈打电话 Loraine is probably talking to her mother.
‎是的 德尔伯特和洛兰结婚了 Oh, yes, Delbert married Loraine.
‎那很抱歉 我们不等了 ‎你失去了机会 I'm sorry, you'll have to forfeit your turn. We can't wait.
‎你可真是一点时间都不浪费啊 Well, you're not wasting any time.
‎-你要打给谁？ ‎-查理 -Who are you calling? - Charlie.
‎我没失去机会 轮到我了 我要打 I refuse to forfeit my turn. It is my turn, and I'm taking it.
‎就是这种精神 埃默里 That's the spirit, Emory.
‎别错过撞冰山的机会！ ‎打啊！往前冲！ You hit that iceberg! Don't miss it. Hit it! God damn it!
‎给我们来个轰动的结尾 I want a smash of a finale.
‎-天啊 我喝多了 ‎-一个喝醉了摔倒在地的娘炮基佬 - God, I'm drunk. -You're a falling-down-drunk-nellie-queen.
‎我看你俩是半斤八两 Now that's the pot calling the kettle beige.
‎我没喝醉 ‎我有没有喝醉不是你说了算 I am not drunk. You cannot tell that I am drunk.
‎-我喝醉了 ‎-我也是 -I'm drunk. - So am I.
‎-我醉得厉害 ‎-闭上嘴巴打你的电话 -I am a major drunk. -Shut up and dial.
‎我从来没醉得这么厉害 I'm a major drunk of this or any other season.
‎打通了 这次不是占线了 It's ringing. It's no longer BY.
‎-喂？ ‎-一分 -Hello? - One point.
‎请问您是谁？ Who's speaking?
‎谁？ Who?
‎德尔伯特博启医生？ Dr. Delbert Botts?
‎再加两分 Two points.
‎德尔 真的是你吗？ Del, is this really you?
‎我不是谁 Nobody.
‎对 你不认识我 你不会记得我是谁 Yeah, you don't know me. You wouldn't remember me.
‎我是… Um…
‎我只是你的一个朋友 I'm just a friend.
‎一个喝醉倒地的朋友 A falling-down, drunken friend.
‎喂？ Hello?
‎-他挂了 ‎-总共三分 你现在领先 - He hung up. -Three points total. You're winning.
‎说我一定是去了不该去的聚会 He said I must have the wrong party.
‎他说得对 我们这场聚会就是个错误 Well, he's right. We have the wrong party.
‎这是为你办的聚会 哈里 ‎你玩得开心吗？ It's your party, Hallie. Having a good time?
‎非常开心 Simply fabulous.
‎你呢？你玩得开心吗 埃默里？ How about you? Are you having a good time, Emory?
‎你有像你预想的那样玩得很开心吗？ Are you having as good a time as you thought you would?
‎-轮到我了 ‎-不 轮到我打给查理了 -My turn now. -No, it's my turn to call Charlie.
‎不 让我来 No… Let me.
‎你要打给查理？ Are you gonna call Charlie?
‎不要打电话 汉克 Don't, Hank.
‎我想打 I want to.
‎拉里 Larry.
‎你这么急切 那请便吧 Be my eager guest.
‎他是要替你给查理打电话吗？ Is he gonna call Charlie for you?
‎查理指的是 ‎我在汉克背后出轨过的所有人 Charlie is all the people I cheat on Hank with.
‎背着汉克出轨过的所有人 With whom I cheat on Hank.
‎屠夫、面包师、做蜡烛的人 The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker.
‎对！他们我全都爱 Right! I love 'em all,
‎我一定要和他们所有人上床 ‎但汉克拒绝理解这一点 but what Hank refuses to understand is I gotta have 'em all.
‎我不是那种会结婚的类型 ‎永远都不是 I'm not the marrying kind. I never will be.
‎你在打给谁？ Who're you calling?
‎你有没有想过 Did it ever occur to you
‎汉克或许会像你一样 that Hank might be doing the same thing behind your back
‎背着你做同样的事？ that you do behind his?
‎拜托 我倒真希望他会 ‎要真是那样的话 生活会轻松很多 I wish to Christ he would. Would make life a hell of a lot easier.
‎你这是打给谁？ Who are you calling?
‎不管是谁 那人肯定不在电话旁边 Well, whoever it is, they're not sitting on top of the telephone.
‎-喂？ ‎-他刚才肯定在浴缸里面 -Hello? -Must have been in the tub.
‎-一分 ‎-我想留个言 One point. - I'd like to leave a message.
‎人不在 只加一分 -Oh, not in. One point.
‎你可以告诉他汉克打过电话吗？ Would you say that Hank called?
‎对 是的 Yes, it is.
‎-晚上好 你是谁？ ‎-那他妈到底是谁？ -Oh, good evening. How are you? -Who the hell is that?
‎对 我想留言给我的室友拉里 Yes, that's right. The message is for my roommate, Larry.
‎跟他说我打过电话… -Just say that I called…
‎那是我们的电话应答服务员 It's our answering service.
‎…我想对他说“我爱你” …and said I love you.
‎汉克 你疯了吗？ Hank, are you crazy?
‎你没听错 这就是我想说的 You heard me correctly.
‎是给拉里的留言 The message is for Larry.
‎是汉克给拉里的留言 ‎内容就是我刚才说的 It's from me, Hank, and it is just as I said.
‎我爱你 I love you.
‎谢谢 Yeah, thanks.
‎共得七分 Seven points total.
‎汉克 亲爱的 ‎你现在领先了！遥遥领先 Hank, you're ahead, baby! You're way, way ahead of everybody.
‎为什么 汉克？你为什么要这么做？ Why, Hank? Why did you do that?
‎因为我确实爱他 ‎我也不在乎让别人知道 Because I do love him, and I don't care who knows it.
‎-别这么说 ‎-为什么不能说？我说的是事实 - Don't say that. -Why not? It's the truth.
‎我为了拉里离开了我的妻子和家庭 I left my wife and family for Larry.
‎-我没有兴趣听你说这些 ‎-你当然有兴趣 -I'm not interested in hearing about it. -Sure you are.
‎继续 汉克 把你的事全告诉他 Go ahead, Hankola. Tell him all about it.
‎我不想听！让我恶心 -I don't want to hear it! It's disgusting.
‎也有男人会为了别的女人离开家庭 -Some men do it for another woman.
‎这我可以理解 这很正常 Well, I can understand that. That's normal.
‎但是现实并不总是这样 艾伦 It doesn't always work out that way, Alan.
‎有时事情并不总会如你所愿 No matter how you might want it to, and God knows,
‎天知道我比谁都想要过正常的生活 nobody ever wanted it more than I did.
‎我和我妻子结婚时 I really and truly felt I was in love with my wife
‎我真心觉得自己爱她 when I married her, but…
‎但我总是感觉哪里不对劲 there was always that something else.
‎总是？ Always?
‎我不知道 应该是吧 I don't know. I suppose so.
‎我四岁时就知道自己是同性恋了 I've known what I was since I was four years old.
‎这事谁都知道 埃默里 Oh, everybody's always known it about you, Emory.
‎我也是从小就知道自己是同性恋 I've always known it about myself, too.
‎我不知道我是从什么时候 ‎开始承认自己喜欢同性的 I don't know when I first admitted it to myself that…
‎一直以来我要么把这问题归结于 ‎其它原因 要么完全否认 I always labeled it something else or denied it completely.
‎“天啊 我昨天晚上一定是喝多了” Oh. "Christ, was I drunk last night."
‎但终于有一天 我没办法再骗自己了 There came a time where I couldn't lie to myself anymore.
‎我思考过我的问题 ‎但没有任何实际举动 I thought about it but never did anything about it.
‎要说我第一次真的做了什么 ‎是我妻子上次怀孕的时候 The first time was during my wife's last pregnancy.
‎我们当时住在纽黑文附近的乡下 We lived near New Haven in the country.
‎我要去纽约参加一个教师会议 There was this teachers' meeting in New York.
‎我妻子觉得她的状况不适合旅行 ‎所以我就自己一个人去的 My wife didn't feel up to the trip. I came into town on my own and…
‎那天在火车上 我又开始想这件事 That day on the train, I began to think about it.
‎一直想 And think about it.
‎整个旅程我就没想过其它事 I thought of nothing else the whole trip.
‎我刚下车还不到15分钟 And then 15 minutes after I had arrived,
‎就在中央车站的男厕里找了个男人 I'd picked up a guy in the men's room of Grand Central Station.
‎老天啊 Jesus.
‎我之前从没做过这种事 I'd never done anything like that before.
‎我怕得要死 I was scared to death.
‎但还好 他人不错 He turned out to be a nice fellow.
‎那之后我没再见过他 I've never seen him again.
‎有意思的是 You know, it's funny.
‎我甚至连他的名字都想不起来了 Can't even remember his name anymore.
‎总之 从那之后事情就变简单了 Anyway, after that, it got easier.
‎熟能生巧 Practice makes perfect.
‎之后 Then, sometime later,
‎我和我妻子一起进城参加一个聚会 ‎我在那里认识了拉里 Larry and I met at a party my wife and I went in town for.
‎然后你真正的麻烦就开始了 And your real troubles began.
‎那是两年前的事 That was two years ago.
‎为什么我在故事里总是恶人的角色？ Why am I always the goddamn villain in this piece?
‎我要么是破坏幸福家庭的第三者 If I'm not the happy home-wrecker,
‎要么就是无可救药的贱人 I'm an impossible son of a bitch to live with.
‎负罪感转变成了敌意 Guilt turns to hostility.
‎我说的对吗 迈克尔？ -Isn't that right, Michael?
‎拿你的镊子折腾你的脸蛋去 -Go stick your tweezers in your cheek.
‎我受够了所有人都同情汉克 I'm fed up to the teeth
‎说他可怜 说他被我欺负 with everybody feeling so sorry for poor, put-upon Hank.
‎拉里 人人都知道你是花心大萝卜 Aw, Larry, everybody knows you're Frieda Fickle.
‎我从来没做过任何承诺 Hey, I never made any promises.
‎也从不打算这样 I never intend to.
‎我有权决定怎么过自己的性生活 ‎不需要向任何人汇报 It's my right to lead my sex life without answering to anybody,
‎包括汉克 Hank included.
‎如果这些条件你不能接受 ‎那我们就别在一起生活了 And if those terms aren't acceptable, then we can't go on living together.
‎多人关系是我人生的一部分 ‎这就是真实的我 Numerous relations is a part of the way I am.
‎不是只有同性恋才淫乱 You don't have to be gay to be a wanton.
‎我说“真实的我”不是指 ‎我是同性恋这事 而且 埃默里… By the way I am, I don't mean gay. And Emory…
‎你才是我认识的人里最淫乱的 You are the most promiscuous person I know.
‎我一点也不淫乱！ -I am not promiscuous at all!
‎不是你不想 是你淫乱不起来 Not by choice, by design.
‎谁会想和你这样一个 ‎热情似火的小娘炮上床呢？ Why would anybody want to go to bed with a flaming little sissy like you?
‎-迈克尔！ ‎-有谁会想追你？ -Michael! - Who'd make a pass at you?
‎我告诉你 没有人 I'll tell you who. Nobody.
‎除了一些从盲人学校跑出来的人 Except maybe some fugitive from the Braille Institute.
‎你为什么让他这么说你？ -Why do you let him talk to you that way?
‎你不是说美貌不是一切吗？ -Physical beauty isn't everything.
‎谢谢你的提醒 卡西莫多 Thank you, Quasimodo.
‎你们知道 ‎和盖世太保住一起是什么感觉吗？ What do you think it's like living with a goddamn Gestapo, huh?
‎要接受完各种审问之后我才能松口气 Can't even take a breath without getting the third degree.
‎拉里 该你打电话了 -Larry, it's your turn to call.
‎我没法接受那种 -And I am so sick of this
‎“我们要对彼此忠诚 ‎绝不看别的男人一眼”的生活 let's-be-faithful- and-never-look-at-another-person routine.
‎这样不现实 ‎如果你主动做这种承诺 没问题 That doesn't work. If you want to promise that, fine.
‎那你就坚守你的承诺 Then you promise it, and you stick to it.
‎但我个人觉得 But if you have to promise it,
‎如果你是被逼着做出这种承诺 ‎那你们的关系很快就会死翘翘 as far as I'm concerned, nothing finishes a relationship faster.
‎“不自由毋宁死” Give me Librium or give me meth.
‎对 自由诚可贵 宝贝！ Yeah, freedom, baby! Freedom!
‎必须得自由 别的办法都行不通 You got to have it. It doesn't work any other way.
‎那些发誓永远对伴侣忠诚的人 ‎都是在撒谎 And-And the ones who swear their undying fidelity to each other are lying.
‎至少大多数都是撒谎 ‎90%都是撒谎 Most of them, anyway. 90% of them.
‎他们说着谎话 不断背着对方出轨 They cheat on each other constantly and then lie through their teeth.
‎很抱歉 我没法这样 但汉克受不了 I'm sorry I can't be like that. It drives Hank up the wall.
‎不是还有10%不出轨的人吗？ There is that 10%.
‎唯一可能解决问题的办法 ‎就是达成某种共识 The only way it stands a chance is with some kind of understanding.
‎我努力过啊 I've tried to go along with that.
‎-得了吧！ ‎-我跟你达成了共识的 -Come on! -I agreed to an agreement.
‎-那是你希望的共识！ ‎-什么共识？ -Your agreement! - What agreement?
‎三人行 A ménage.
‎很多人觉得这是个解决问题的办法 ‎但我不喜欢 A lot of people think that's the answer, but that's not my style.
‎我也从来不想那样！ I certainly didn't want it!
‎-那这主意是谁提的？ ‎-这是妥协！ -Then who suggested it? -It was a compromise!
‎-没错！ ‎-你同意了！ - Exactly! - You agreed!
‎我没有同意任何事 I didn't agree to anything.
‎是你一个人赞成你的提议 ‎然后你就说我也同意了！ You agreed to your own proposal and then informed me that I agreed!
‎我不太明白 什么是… I don't understand. What's a--
‎我想揍扁你！ I will kick you!
‎亲爱的 两个人叫伴侣 ‎三个人就叫三人行 The ménage, baby. Two's company, three's a ménage.
‎-三人行适合部分人 ‎-但我不喜欢这种“群体治疗” It works for some. -Well, I'm not one for group therapy.
‎我没法和任何人有这样的关系 I can't relate to anyone or anything like that.
‎我很传统 I'm old-fashioned.
‎虽然那些人我全都喜欢 ‎但我一次只喜欢一个 I like 'em all, but I like 'em one at a time.
‎你对唐纳德就是一对一的喜欢对吗？ Did you like Donald as a single side attraction?
‎对 Yes.
‎-是你告诉他的吗？ ‎-不是 -Did you tell him? -No.
‎从你进门那一刻我就看出来了 It was perfectly obvious from the moment you walked in.
‎什么叫 What was that song and dance
‎“不算认识但见过”？ about having seen each other but never having met?
‎别这样看着我 汉克 Don't look at me like that, Hank.
‎你今天晚上 ‎一直在跟那只企鹅眉来眼去的 You've been playing footsie with that penguin all night.
‎我猜你是想让我们三个搞三人行吧？ Oh! I suppose you want the three of us to have a go at it.
‎-至少这样大家是在一起 ‎-我不理解 -At least that would be together. -Well, that point eludes me.
‎那你想要我怎么理解你？ What kind of an understanding do you want?
‎尊重！ Respect!
‎尊重彼此的自由 ‎不用撒谎 也不用伪装 Respect for each other's freedom without any need to lie or pretend.
‎汉克 我以我的方式爱你 Hank, in my way, I love you,
‎但你要理解 虽然我想和你一起生活 but you have to understand although I want to live with you,
‎但有时可能会有第三者 sometimes there might be others.
‎如果发生了这种事 ‎我不会主动跟你提 If that happens, I know I'll never mention it.
‎但如果你问我 我也会坦诚告诉你 But if you ask me, I will tell you.
‎他得分了！ He gets points!
‎什么？ What?
‎他说了 他刚对汉克说了“我爱你” ‎他得到了额外的五分 He said it. He said "I love you" to Hank. He gets the bonus.
‎-他没有打电话告诉汉克 ‎-他告诉他了 -He didn't call him. -He called him.
‎只是没有用电话说 He just didn't use the telephone.
‎-那他就一分都没有 ‎-他得了五分 - Then he doesn't get any points. -He gets five points.
‎他没有用电话 就一分都得不到！ He didn't use the telephone. He doesn't get a goddamn thing!
‎是打给你的 汉克！ It's for you, Hank!
‎喂？ Hello?
‎一分 One point.
‎喂 汉克 Hello, Hank.
‎加两分 Two points.
‎我是拉里 This is Larry.
‎加两分 - Two more points.
‎不管怎样 我想告诉你 我爱你 For what it's worth, I love you.
‎加五分 Five-point bonus.
‎我… I'll…
‎我会试试看 I'll try.
‎我也是 I will, too.
‎-共得十分 ‎-拉里获胜了 -That's ten points total. -Larry is the winner.
‎这游戏并没有我想的好玩 Well, that wasn't as much fun as I thought it would be.
‎游戏还没结束呢 Game isn't over yet.
‎该你了 艾伦 ‎拿起电话吧 你这家伙 It's your turn, Alan. Pick up the phone, buster.
‎-迈克尔 别这样 ‎-你别管！ -Michael, don't. -Stay out of this!
‎你不用打 艾伦 You don't have to, Alan. You don't.
‎埃默里 我为我之前的举动向你道歉 Emory, I'm sorry for what I did before.
‎算了 没关系 Forget it.
‎原谅我们的过犯吧 Forgive us our trespasses.
‎天啊 Christ.
‎你们俩现在穿同一条裤子了？ You guys joined at the goddamn hip now?
‎你要打给谁 艾伦？ Who are you going to call, Alan? Hmm?
‎想不起来该打给谁吗？ Can't remember anyone?
‎我想这应该是最后一轮了 I believe this will be the final round.
‎你不打算打电话吗 迈克尔？ Michael, aren't you gonna call anyone?
‎他怎么打？他从没爱过任何人 How could he? He's never loved anyone.
‎不管你觉得 ♪ No matter how you figure
‎做黑人有多辛苦 It's tough to be a nigger ♪
‎打住 迈克尔！ - Stop that, Michael!
‎都没有做犹太人辛苦 -♪ But it's tougher to be a Jew ♪
‎天啊 迈克尔 ‎你真是个有魅力的聚会主人啊 My God, Michael, you're a charming host.
‎迈克尔没有魅力 唐纳德 Michael doesn't have charm, Donald.
‎迈克尔有的是反魅力 Michael has counter-charm.
‎-等等 你要去哪里？ ‎-对 我要失陪一下 -Wait, are you going somewhere? -Yes, excuse me.
‎你会错过我们游戏的结局 You're going to miss the end of the game.
‎运气好的话 ‎等游戏结束了我才会下楼 With any luck, I won't be down until it's all over.
‎你觉得他们在楼上干什么呢 艾伦？ What do you suppose is going on up there, hmm, Alan?
‎你觉得拉里和汉克在楼上干什么？ What do you imagine that Larry and Hank are doing up there, hmm?
‎不管他们在干什么 ‎他们没有伤害别人 Whatever they're doing, they aren't hurting anyone.
‎而且那是他们自己的事 And they're minding their own business.
‎你也管好你自己的事 哈罗德 ‎我是在警告你 Yeah, and you mind yours, Harold. I'm warning you.
‎是吗？ Are you, now?
‎你是在警告我？ Are you warning me?
‎我？ Me?
‎我是哈罗德 I'm Harold.
‎轮不到你来警告我 迈克尔 I'm the one person you don't warn, Michael,
‎因为我和你是一类人 because you and I are a match.
‎我们一直都小心翼翼地试探对方 And we tread very softly with each other
‎因为我们都太清楚对方在想什么了 because we both play each other's game too well.
‎我知道你想干什么 I know this game you're playing.
‎我很清楚 而且这一套我也会 I know it very well, and I play it very well.
‎你很擅长这一套 但你知道吗？ You play it very well, too, but you know what?
‎我是唯一比你还要擅长的人 I'm the only one who's better at it than you are.
‎我能够击垮你 所以不要逼我 I can beat you at it, so don't push me.
‎现在是我在警告你 I'm warning you.
‎你真有意思 哈里 You're funny, Hallie.
‎你真好笑 ‎他是不是很有意思 艾伦？ You're a laugh riot. Isn't he funny, Alan?
‎或者用你的话说 他是不是很有趣？ Or as you might say, "Isn't he amusing?"
‎他是有趣的基佬 对吧？ He's an amusing faggot, isn't he?
‎或者用你的话说 是个怪胎 Or, as you might say, freak.
‎你之前就是这么说埃默里的不是吗？ ‎一个怪胎 一个娘娘腔 That's what you called Emory, wasn't it? A freak, a pansy.
‎天啊 你用的词可真是过时 God, what an antiquated vocabulary you have.
‎你没用“鸡奸者”这种词 ‎还真是让我惊讶 I'm surprised you didn't say "sodomite" or "pederast."
‎还是让我教你一些现在流行的词汇吧 You better let me bring you up to date.
‎你有听过“深柜基佬”这个说法吗？ Have you ever heard the term "closet-queen"?
‎知道是什么意思吗？ You know what that means?
‎知道“在柜子里”是什么意思吗？ Do you know what it means to be "in the closet"?
‎如果你是在暗示我是个同性恋 If you're insinuating that I'm a homosexual,
‎我只能说你搞错了 I can only say that you're mistaken.
‎是吗？ Am I?
‎那贾斯汀斯图尔特是怎么回事？ What about Justin Stuart?
‎和他有什么关系？ What about Justin Stuart?
‎你爱他 那这就和他有关系 You were in love with him, that's what about him.
‎他就是你想打电话找的那个人 And that is who you are going to call.
‎我和贾斯汀是好朋友 仅此而已 Justin and I were very good friends. That's all.
‎据贾斯汀说 ‎你们的友谊可是相当激情呢 According to Justin, that friendship was quite passionate.
‎你什么意思？ What do you mean?
‎你在大学时就和他上过好几次床 I mean that you slept with him in college several times.
‎-没这回事 ‎-睡了好几次 -That's not true. - Several times.
‎一次或许是因为年轻 ‎两次可能是短暂的情迷意乱 One time, it's youth. Twice is a phase, maybe.
‎但睡好几次 只能是因为你喜欢 Several times, you like it.
‎-不是这样 ‎-就是这样！ -It's not true. - Yes, it is!
‎因为贾斯汀斯图尔特是同性恋！ Because Justin Stuart is a homosexual!
‎他偶尔会来纽约 ‎然后就会给我打电话 He comes to New York on occasion, and he calls me.
‎我就会带他去参加聚会 I've taken him to parties.
‎拉里都和他搞过一次 ‎而且贾斯汀把你的事都告诉我了 Larry had him once, and he has told me all about you.
‎他那都是在说谎 Then he told you a lie.
‎你对贾斯汀很着迷 You were obsessed with Justin.
‎从早到晚都把这种话挂在嘴边 That is all you talked about morning, noon and night.
‎你今晚也在楼上这样说过汉克 You started doing it about Hank upstairs tonight.
‎说他是多有魅力 ‎以为坦率地说就不会引起怀疑 "What an attractive fella he is." All that transparent crap.
‎我只是说他有魅力 -I said he was attractive. That's all.
‎你还想说多少遍？ -How many times do you have to say it?
‎你这样说贾斯汀又说过多少遍？ How many times did you have to say it about Justin?
‎说他网球打得多么好 舞跳得多么好 What a good tennis player he was, what a good dancer he was,
‎身材多么好 多么聪明 what a good body he had, how bright he was,
‎多么有趣 女生们多么为他疯狂 how amusing he was, how-how the girls were all mad for him,
‎你们的关系多么亲密 what close friends you were.
‎我们是很亲密 ‎我们是很好的朋友 仅此而已 We were very close, very good friends. That's all.
‎你表现得太明显了 It was obvious.
‎你在弗兰面前那么说贾斯汀的时候 ‎真是特别尴尬 And when you did it around Fran, it was downright embarrassing.
‎-她肯定都怀疑过你 ‎-贾斯汀是在撒谎 -Even she must have her doubts about you. -Justin lied.
‎如果是他跟你说的 那他在撒谎 If he told you that, he lied.
‎他为了报复我 什么话都说得出来 He'd say anything about me now to get even.
‎因为他没法接受被我抛弃的事实 He could never get over the fact that I dropped him.
‎是你结束了这段友谊 艾伦 You ended the friendship, Alan,
‎因为你没办法面对真实的自己 because you couldn't face the truth about yourself.
‎只要贾斯汀继续骗自己 ‎你也继续骗自己 You could go on sleeping with Justin as long as he lied to himself
‎你就可以继续和他上床 and you lied to yourself.
‎你们都和女孩约会 ‎都标榜自己是男人 And you both dated girls and you labeled yourselves men
‎你们把这段关系说成“只是好朋友” and you called yourselves "just fond friends,"
‎但贾斯汀最后没法再骗自己 ‎这让你接受不了 but Justin finally had to be honest, and you couldn't take it.
‎-你接受不了 于是… ‎-不是这样 -You couldn't take it, and so… -No.
‎…你就毁了你们的关系 还毁了他 …you destroyed the friendship and your friend along with it.
‎-不是 ‎-就是这样 - No. -Oh, yes.
‎贾斯汀怎么也不明白 ‎他到底做错了什么让你抛弃了他 Justin never understood what he had done wrong to make you drop him.
‎-他一直自责 ‎-不是这样 -He blamed himself. - No.
‎他一直自责 ‎后来他终于明白了是怎么回事 He did, until he eventually found out who he was.
‎-认清了自己 ‎-不！ -And what he was. - No!
‎但直到今天 ‎他都还记得你是怎么对他的 But to this day, he still remembers the treatment.
‎-你在他心里留下的疤还在 ‎-不 -Scars he got from you. -No.
‎拿起电话打给贾斯汀 You pick up this phone, and you call Justin.
‎不 No.
‎我要你向他道歉 I want you to call him and apologize.
‎告诉他你很多年前就该告诉他的话 You tell him what you should have told him many years ago.
‎-他是在撒谎 说的全是假话！ ‎-打给他！ -He lied. Not a word of it is true! - Call him!
‎算了 我来打 All right, then I'll dial.
‎你真是乐于助人 You're so helpful.
‎给我 Give it to me.
‎喂？ Hello?
‎一分 One point.
‎我是艾伦 It's Alan.
‎加两分 Two points.
‎-对 是我 ‎-是贾斯汀吗？ -Yes. Yes, it's me. - Is that Justin?
‎你听上去好像很惊讶 - You sound surprised.
‎都过去这么多年了 ‎我倒希望他惊讶一点 I should hope to think so, after all this time.
‎加两分 Two more points.
‎我在纽约 I'm in New York.
‎对 我… Yes, I…
‎我现在不多解释了 我… I won't explain now, I just…
‎打电话给你只是想说… called to tell you…
‎想说我爱你 快说我爱你 That I love you. God damn it, I love you.
‎我爱你 I love you.
‎你拿到了额外的五分 ‎一共得十分 你得了头奖！ You get the goddamn bonus. Ten points total. Jackpot!
‎我爱你 也恳求你原谅我 -I love you, and I beg you to forgive me.
‎把电话给我 给我！ -Give me that. Give me that!
‎贾斯汀 ‎你听到这王八蛋跟你说的话了吗？ Justin, did you hear what that son of a bitch said?
‎弗兰 Fran.
‎不是 我当然知道是你啊 No, of course I knew it was you.
‎你好吗？ How are you?
‎对 Yes.
‎对 他把所有事情都告诉我了 Yes, he told me everything.
‎不 不用谢我 No, now, don't thank me.
‎不用 不用谢我 Please. Please, don't thank me.
‎我让他接电话 I'll put him back on.
‎代我跟孩子们问好 My love to the kids.
‎亲爱的 我会搭最早的航班回去 Darling, I'll take the first plane I can get.
‎对 我很抱歉 Yes, I'm sorry, too.
‎我非常爱你 I love you very much.
‎谢谢你 迈克尔 Thank you, Michael.
‎谁赢了？ Who won?
‎是平局 It was a tie.
‎现在轮到我了 -Now, it is my turn.
‎迈克尔 ‎不管你准没准备好 我都要开始说了 And ready or not, Michael, here goes.
‎你是个可悲…又可怜的人 You are a sad… and pathetic man.
‎你是同性恋 但你不想是 You're a homosexual, and you don't want to be.
‎可你又没办法改变这件事 But there is nothing you can do to change it.
‎无论你怎么跟上帝祷告 Not all your prayers to your God,
‎无论你在余生做多少精神分析治疗 ‎你都没法改变这件事 not all the analysis you can buy in all the years you have yet to live.
‎如果你极其想了解异性恋的生活 We may very well one day be able to know what it is to live a heterosexual life
‎并且用你摧毁一切的热情去追求 if you want it desperately enough,
‎那你或许有一天能够获得了解 if you pursue it with the fervor with which you annihilate.
‎但你永远都是个同性恋 But you will always be homosexual as well.
‎永远都是 迈克尔 Always, Michael.
‎永远都是 Always.
‎直到你死的那天 Until the day you die.
‎朋友们 Oh, friends…
‎谢谢你们为我办了一场 ‎这么好的生日会 还有这么好的礼物 thank you for a nifty party and a super gift.
‎这正是我需要的 It's just what I needed.
‎伯纳德 谢谢你 Bernard, thank you.
‎你能把他送回家吗？ And you'll get him home?
‎不用为她担心 我会料理好一切 Don't worry about her. I'll take care of everything.
‎唐纳德 很高兴见到你 Good to see you, Donald.
‎晚安 哈罗德 Good night, Harold.
‎-下次见 ‎-好啊 -See you again sometime. -Yeah.
‎七七节之后过一年再见如何？ How about a year from Shavuot?
‎来吧 特克斯 去我家 Come on, Tex. Let's go to my place.
‎你床上功夫好吗？ Are you good in bed?
‎呃…我会尽力表现出一些感情 Well… I try to show a little affection.
‎这样我就能感觉自己 ‎不至于太像个卖淫的 Keeps me from feeling like such a whore.
‎迈克尔 谢谢你今晚带来的欢笑 Uh, Michael, thanks for the laughs.
‎我明天再给你打电话 Call you tomorrow.
‎来吧 伯纳德 该回家了 Come on, Bernard. Time to go home.
‎天啊 你真够沉的 Mary, you're a heavy mother.
‎我为什么要打那通电话？ Why'd I call?
‎-为什么？ ‎-谢谢你 迈克尔 -Why? -Hey, thank you, Michael.
‎-晚安 唐纳德 ‎-晚安 埃默里 -Good night, Donald. - Good night, Emory.
‎我带你去喝点咖啡 一切都会没事的 I'm gonna take you for some coffee, and everything's gonna be all right.
‎当心 -Careful.
‎唐纳德？ Donald?
‎-唐纳德？ ‎-迈克尔 -Donald, Donald. Donald? -Michael?
‎-天啊 我都干了些什么？ ‎-天啊 迈克尔 -Oh, my God, what have I done? -Christ, Michael.
‎-天啊 ‎-迈克尔 我不会… -Oh, God. -Michael, I'm not--
‎哦 不 Oh, no. Oh, no.
‎-喂 ‎-天啊 唐纳德 我的天啊 不！ -Hey, hey. -God, Donald. Oh, my God, no!
‎-我给你倒杯水 给 ‎-天啊 我都干了些什么？ -I'll get you some water. Here. -God, what have I done?
‎-冷静点 别哭 ‎-天啊 -Hey, stop it. Stop it. -Jesus, God.
‎我给你拿安定 I'm gonna give you a Valium.
‎-不！药和酒精都不要 我要死了！ ‎-我不会… -No! Not pills and alcohol. I'm gonna die! -I'm not…
‎来 吃下去 你要把我吓坏了 Come on, take this. You're scaring me.
‎别哭了 快吃药 Stop that crying. Take this pill.
‎来 迈克尔 Come here. Come here, Michael.
‎-来 迈克尔！ ‎-走开！ -Come here, Michael! Come here! -Get off of me!
‎我的天啊 Jesus Christ.
‎嘿 -Hey.
‎没事了 It's okay.
‎没事了 Hey, it's okay.
‎没事了 It's okay.
‎是谁以前总说 Who was it that always used to say,
‎“你要能给我找到一个快乐的同性恋 ‎我就能给你找到一具快乐的尸体”？ "Show me a happy homosexual, and I'll show you a gay corpse"?
‎我不知道 I don't know.
‎是谁以前总说这句话？ Who was it who always used to say that?
‎要是我们能不这么讨厌自己就好了 If we could just not hate ourselves so much.
‎这样就好了 知道吗？ That's it, you know?
‎要是我们能… If we could just…
‎要是我们能学会不这么讨厌自己… Oh. If we could just learn not to hate ourselves…
‎就好了 quite so very much.
‎是 我知道 Yes, I know.
‎我知道 -I know.
‎行 Okay.
‎对了 ‎我觉得你的精神分析师是个庸医 By the way, I think your analyst is a quack.
‎-之前你不是说他是蠢货吗？ ‎-没错 他是个蠢货庸医 -Earlier, you said he was a prick. -That's right. He's a prick quack.
‎-或者说是庸医蠢货 看你喜欢哪个 ‎-好吧 -Or a quack prick. Whichever you prefer. -Okay.
‎哈罗德说的对 Harold was right.
‎你的本性永远都不会变 You'll never change.
‎你觉得有没有可能 ‎把这地方一下子全部冲走？ You suppose there's any possibility of just flushing this place?
‎现在几点了？ What time is it?
‎还早呢 It's early.
‎你要去哪里？ Where are you going?
‎卧室现在有人用 The bedroom's ocupado,
‎反正我也不想睡 and I don't want to go to sleep yet anyway.
‎我要出去走走 醒一下酒 I'm gonna try and walk off this booze.
‎如果我现在就睡觉 If I went to sleep right now,
‎等我醒来 ‎他们非得把我送去精神病院不可 when I woke up, they'd have to put me in a padded cell.
‎当然我也不是说我不属于那里 Not that that's where I don't belong.
‎圣马拉奇教堂有一个午夜弥撒 There's a midnight mass over at St. Malachy's
‎很多演艺圈的人都喜欢去那里 that all the show people go to. I th--
‎我现在走过去应该赶得上 I think I'll walk over and catch it.
‎顺便也帮我祈祷吧 Well, pray for me.
‎也许我回来时拉里和汉克已经走了 Maybe they'll be gone when I get back.
‎下周六我还会见到你吗？ Will I see you again next Saturday?
‎除非你有别的计划 Unless you have other plans.
‎我没有 No.
‎-迈克尔 ‎-什么？ - Michael. -What?
‎艾伦有没有告诉你 ‎他为什么在电话里哭？ Did he ever tell you why he was crying on the phone?
‎没有 No.
‎肯定是他离开了弗兰 It must have been that he'd left Fran.
‎或者出了别的什么事让他改变了主意 Or maybe it was something else, and he changed his mind.
‎也许吧 Maybe so.
‎不知道他为什么会离开她 I wonder why he left her.
‎我爸死前在我怀里说过一句话 As my father said to me when he died in my arms,
‎“有些事我真是一点也不明白” "I don't understand any of it."
‎“永远都不明白” "I never did."
‎走的时候记得关灯 Turn out the lights when you leave, will you?
‎怎么了？ What? Oh.
‎（根据马特克劳利 ‎同名舞台剧和电影改编）
‎（谨以此片献给马特克劳利）